𝘚𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭 ⋆ 𝘔𝘪𝘻𝘶 𝘹 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

5 ⋆ Patterns

Physical, mental, and sexual abuse implied in this chapter. Read at your own risk.

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I didn't know what hit me till it was too late.

I was pulled away from the life I learned to love so much. From the closet things I had to friends. The closest thing I had to family.. just ripped away like that.

When the guards brought me in they were rough, but careful not to damage me. Still sickening, though. Once we were in I was thrown to the floor where I collapsed like a sack of flesh and bones more than a living human on the ground.

I groan sharply in pain and hoist myself up, looking back to them with a mix of emotions, mainly anger and fear. My whole body was gently shaking with adrenaline.

What have I just gotten myself into..?

I let out a shaky breath, my thoughts running wild until I was pulled out of them by the sound and sight of someone coming down the stairs.

Him.

I felt my throat clog and my mind fog over. My whole body was clenched up as I stay a pathetic ball on the ground.

The man in the yellow garment.. Hamata, and a taller man in all black behind him emerged, he sported a crooked grin on his lips.

Maybe it was the fear, or the regret, or guilt, or it all together- or maybe something different entirely, but I lost all sense of hope I had. It felt like the air I breath is thicker with each suck and my body increasing got one pound heavier weighing me to the floor.

Just in time to snap me out of my physical reaction, which id much rather prefer more that even Peering his way, he spoke. "Tears? So soon? The fun hasn't even begun."

A cold shiver went up my spine.

My lips straighten into a line and I reach up to dab the tears I hadn't even realized had fallen.

Beads of them stream down my red-blotched face, and rightfully slow.

I stay quiet, continuing to stare back up at him.

His evil grin only grew as he watched and put his hands behind his back. "What? Tired, maybe?" I asked. "If that's the case, I'll have you escorted to bed." He said all too casually and reraised his hand to snap into the air at shoulder height, them point to me.

This action confused me until the big man behind him started in my pursuit walking over to me after being snapped at.

Before I even needed to think for myself my mind seemed to be read by Hamata, cause he answered my question with the introduction to be made by him. "This is my bodyguard. A real man, here. He'll show you."

He finished just as the bodyguard guy scooped me up in a fashion that didn't hurt, but wasn't gentle. This provoked a yelp out of me.

He swiftly turned just for me to peer over his shoulder at Hamata long enough for him to utter one last thing.
"See you soon.."

~~~

After that night, I was never the same.

I was convinced that man had no heart.

He'd break me down, watch me build myself up, and break me down again. It was an exhausting pattern. I wanted no part of it but I just kept going.. until I no longer built myself up anymore. He seemed to like me laying in a broken pile rather than if I persevered through his torment.

Those nights became regular, then stretched into days. A pattern grew present. I learned his ways. I grew dull.

I spent most every moment by his side, leaving me no room to take myself out of the question if I wanted to.

The worst part was, my own actions brought me here. I had it all.. then lost it in the blink of an eye. Why? Cause I was too eager to belong. I wanted to prove myself so bad.. and I payed the price for it.

The last words I said to Madame Kaji often play in my mind over and over, haunting me.. torturing me more than Hamata's physical torment could do.

"You promised".

With those two little words, I might have sentenced her to a life of guilt. None of this is her fault. I just want her back.

These dreadful days turned into weeks, then weeks into months.

I lost track of specific time and date.
I lost a lot.

All I know is that the seasons changed, but my life in that house stayed the same.

I lost all hope and interest in life together after Hamata's thrusts at me in different directions. The constant walking on egg shells around him.

I was coming up on 5ish.. 6 months of being stuck in this trap. This awful cycle until a change abruptly forced it's way into my life.

A good change for once, though I didn't know it yet.

A dream disguised as a nightmare.

°•°•°•°

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Holy guacamole guys some ppl have been correcting my stupid spelling mistakes and I'm actually SO SORRY 😭 I'm literally so trash at spelling and idek how someone can write so much and be so illiterate.

Anywayyyys, hope you enjoyed (even though this chapter is kinda ick) and yeah it'll definitely get better imo

I'm sure you can guess why 🤭

Toodaloo my fellow Mizu enjoyers