𝘉𝘈𝘚𝘐𝘊 𝘐𝘕𝘚𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘊𝘛

4.25| NOT STRONG ENOUGH

TRIGGER WARNING
This chapter mentions self harm and the act of it. Please skip over if you find this topic triggering to you or your situation.

I would like to remind you that I am a young writer and I am not a professional. Viewers discretion is advised.
Thank you.  -iwontlive

Now playing
Not Strong Enough by Boy Genius, Julie Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, Lucy Dacus

Elaine laid on her bed, thoughts racing through her head. She played with a four by four Rubik's-Cube, eventually getting irritated and throwing back in her bag where she kept it. The dog that laid on her bed next her whined at the sudden noise.

She leaned over to her bedside table, switching off her lamp. Making the room only be lit by the string lights that hung on her headboard down to the footboard. She curled up in the throw blanket that was spread over her and her dog, Harley, trying to forget about the events of earlier that day.

Why was her mother always mentioned at the times that are the least convenient for her. When she's at her happiest. Caroline Fisher always found a way to sneak her way back into Elaine Ander's life, no matter what cost.

•Her elementary school graduation. Ruined.

•Her Twelfth birthday. Ruined.

•The honors day program in middle school. Ruined.

•The trip to Savannah. Ruined.

When training her friends...friends.

She had friends. Like actual friends, not pity friends. Elaine started to smile, dragging her thumb over Harley's fur covered head.

Ding!

The ravenette picked up her phone, checking the notification. Mother Gothel. Her smile dropped. She rolled her eyes, trying not to care. She threw her phone down and rolled back over, closing her eyes wanting to sleep off the feeling that consumed her brain. That consumed her body.

She opened her hazel eyes abruptly, tossing and turning over and pulling the pillow over her head, sleep not welcoming her. The feeling never leaving.

Elaine sat upright, opening the bedside table drawer. A small box shaped lighter laid in her hand, a white skull outline printed on the cold metal. She tapped her fingers against the item, debating, trying to stop herself.

She wanted to feel something. Sure she has feelings, joy, anger, fear, sadness — Definitely disgust — She wanted to physically to hurt and remember that she's alive. It's all she asked for.

The sound of the lid clanging open and a flame being lit, rang around the room. The orange flame lit a gleam in the hazel eyes that stared down at it.

She guided the wispy flame to the skin of her inner thigh, burning the delicate flesh. The girl let out a small wince, 'Fuck.' She gritted her teeth, closing the lighter.

Remember that I am not a professional in the physical part of this subject, I mostly work with mental issues because I can relate to that myself.  Thank you. -Iwontlive