An autumn story

Chapter (8)

The rain is still raging outside after four days. He watches it as it hits the big windows of the library and travels south where his stare can't follow. He likes the rain and this season in general, but it keeps them from working on the project. And his mind isn't busy and his thoughts aren't covered from a loud voice barking commands.
"Todoroki." He turns at the mention of his name. "You are doing it again." Midoriya points at the pen in his hand. The paper underneath has little black dots everywhere and as he looks around a few glares are coming his way. The constant tapping must be annoying in the silence of the library.
"Sorry." He says and stops.
"Don't worry." Midoriya smiles and turns his eyes back at his book.
He should study too, now that he has the time. But the material is easy on this subject, nothing he hasn't seen before. He is good at it. Memorising the rules of certain things, apply them correctly. It is almost relaxing. Having a solid construct of what is right and what is wrong.
"Is everything alright?" Midoriya asks and only then he realises that his friend is observing him.
Midoriya is his friend. That is also a calming thought. He never had any before. None. And he thought that was how his university life will continue. He met the boy at the early start of the first semester and with his kind nature and his easy smiles he quickly became his friend. He can't think of anyone who would dislike Midoriya. He is the epitome of a good person.
Well, he couldn't before. Now, now it is a different story.
"Todoroki?" Concern tangles around his name.
"Everything is fine. I am just a little tired." He says. He is, indeed, a little tired. There are the classes and exams, there is the project that stresses him deeply. And there is a message on his phone that doesn't leave room for a discussion.
He almost sighs. But he doesn't want to worry Midoriya more. And he is exhausted thinking about the same thing over and over again.
"Why does Bakugo dislike you so much?" He asks as a distraction. But the question is probably wrong, because the features across him morph.
"Sorry, did I say something wrong?" He asks again.
"No, no.." Midoriya smiles now. "You don't ease your words." He laughs a little.
"What do you mean?" He says genuinely.
"Nothing. Don't worry about it."
Todoroki titles his head a little. Sometimes he feels like he is participating in a game where he doesn't know the rules, while everyone else does.
"I mean if.." He tries to ask again, to understand what was that he did wrong, but Midoriya shakes his hand and smiles again.
"We used to be inseparable. Kacchan back then was exactly as he is now. That didn't earn him many friends. Not that he wanted them. But the kids were slightly afraid of his explosive nature, so he didn't have any enemies either. I was his only friend really and that made me feel kind of special." Midoriya laughs then.
"Okay." Todoroki says.
"But then something happened and we stopped talking gradually, until we didn't exchange a word at the end."
"What happened?" Todoroki asks.
"I don't know." Midoriya sighs. "I tried to ask him, but he refused to tell me."
"Maybe you breathed too loud." Todoroki tells him in an attempt to light the mood.
He succeeds when the boy across him smiles and he feels happy about it.
"He is not a bad person. I meant what I said the other day." Midoriya tells him then. "He's just..."
"Explosive." Todoroki finishes his sentence. "But I think I understand what you mean."
"You do?" Midoriya lets out a breath. "Thank god, I thought that was why you were feeling down these days. I thought, you know, that he said something to you. He is very serious about his studies."
"I am aware." He tells him. "But no, nothing like that."
"That's nice." The boy concludes, yet the question still lingers in the air. If his partner isn't the problem, what is? But Midoriya is nice and considerate and he doesn't asks for more.
There are his thoughts again, hiding in the corner of his mind, ready to appear now that the conversation has died out again.
Of an effort he is willing to do, but he is alone on that subject. Of how he must really be in the wrong. Of things he hasn't yet realise and he searches and searches. Of a woman with long white hair that doesn't want to see him.
He touches his scar. It's there still, it will be there for the rest of his life. As a reminder of his sin, as a mirror to a face that no longer exists.
It looks like a leaf.
Bakugo had said and somehow it had ease the thoughts. He had given it another meaning.
His partner was loud and odd. Demanding and easily agitated. And then he would do a thing out of his character and Todoroki would think that he really wasn't that bad.