GAME OF SURVIVAL ³ ━━━ the walking dead

26 | the blame game

26; THE BLAME GAME
(season nine, episodes thirteen, fourteen & fifteen)

[TRIGGER WARNING;
attempted suicide, excessive gore & vomiting,]

THEN.

Leo seldom got the chance to think about his departed friends, but with his twentieth birthday approaching in the coming year, he couldn't take his mind off of them.

He would escape the canker of adolescence and reach the adulthood he'd long ago believed he'd never come to experience.

But Carl wouldn't. Devin wouldn't. Not Noah or Lizzie or Mika.

He'd be leaving them behind, moving onto a new stage of life without them. And the worst part was - he couldn't even remember some of their faces anymore. They were just blank memories in his brain, associated with feelings rather than visuals. He knew he'd been happy with them, it was just hard to remember how he'd been able to possess such a carefree nature in the face of global damnation.

Tyreese had shielded him from the true weight of the world's end, he'd carried it for him until the earth swallowed him up. It fell onto Sasha after that and she buckled more often than not - her shoulders were more strained than most, it was understandable - Rick stepped in when he could, Michonne and Rosita too, they tried to instil some normalcy in his life; preserve the caring soul within.

They had to have done something right because he was still here and he wasn't alone - he had Aria and Judith; the sunshine to his rainy days. Reasons to do better.

Deciding that sleep was going to continue to elude him, Leo rolled onto his side and stole a glance at the bed adjacent to his. Aria was at the top and Judith at the bottom - she came to stay over at least once a week - both sleeping soundly without a care in the world.

The sight calmed him, but only a little. That bed had been Devin's before it was Aria's, and Noah's before that. Both his most trusted confidante at the time, both swarmed by the dead when their sandglasses ran out.

Leo silently begged every known deity in existence to forbid the same fate from befalling the little blonde girls. The world had take enough from him already - was a relatively peaceful life too much to ask for?

As if she could feel him staring, Judith suddenly sprung to life from beneath her comforter and leapt out of the bed, tiny bare feet colliding with the rug-covered floor.

"Good morning," Leo whispered, signing along as he spoke out of habit.

A tired smile tugged Judith's lips upwards and she came bounding across the room. He reached down to scoop her up and settled her down beside him, against the wall so that she didn't take a tumble.