Silent Shadows: Book Two - The River of Secrets

XVI

The darkness only burned away slowly. Yet dawn came dressed in violet and gold, allowing the moon to one again rest bellow the horizon. And yet the sun, destined to awaken as it did every morn, spread it's wings and allowed the first light of this day to rise slumbering creatures from their brightest dreams and from their darkest nightmares.

Stormray found themselves awakening to the chorus of doves, singing a quiet aubade for the dawn. Silentdawn was still beside them, asleep but stirring quietly. They'd spent the night together, now. And last night, as the moon gazed down upon them, they'd finally felt the love they'd wanted for so long be requited. And yet, somehow, they still didn't feel anything. They still felt a massive trench in their soul, and love had only been a stone to fill it. Or perhaps nothing. Everything still felt so empty.

Their thoughts then turned again to what had happened moons ago. It'd been something they simply couldn't run from, these thoughts. And so they let them happen. They allowed them to take over their mind, and in turn, take over them. It hurt, it hurt so horribly, and yet they found they couldn't fight it. They let it devour them, because it was their only option. 

They couldn't do anything else. 

-

Today was warm. The skies were bright blue, fully cloudless as the sun blared and bathed the world in bright light. It was nearly a later stage of Spring now. That was the season they'd told her about, where the flowers and plants bloomed and were born again. Yet by now, everything was alive, and the lands were painted in so many shades of bright green. So many dotted flowers, in so many colours. 

Iskra was suddenly surprised by a light mewing. The sound caused her to turn and gaze at the bush where she believed it was coming from. Slowly, she inched through the branches and was surprised by how green it was on the inside, with sunlight filtering through the gaps in the bush and dappling the shaded area with golden light. 

"Oh! Iskra!" Ghrian spoke in surprise. Iskra was surprised by the sight of a young kit laying protected by her golden tail. 

"This is our son, Éadrom," a tomcat spoke. "Isn't he adorable?" 

"Oh," Iskra replied, finding herself suddenly saddened. To her surprise, the two seemed to notice her apparent sorrow. 

"Iskra? What's wrong?" Ghrian asked. Iskra didn't reply, she simply stared at the grass beneath her paws, solemnly. She then gazed forward, staring at the pale cream tom.

"Can I hold him?" she asked.

Ghrian stayed silent for a moment, before she quietly replied. "Uhm, sure," she mewed as Iskra slowly leaned forward. 

As she gazed upon the kit, she suddenly flinched and decided not to do so. Sheepishly, she slowly awaited a confused reaction from the two. Yet the tom seemed to quickly change the subject. 

"Did you hear that Dawn and Ray are now mates?" he spoke. 

Ghrian laughed, surprised. "They are? That's great! I had no idea."

The tom seemed nearly dumbfounded for a second. "Really? They've been together for a few days now." 

"Oh dear, I must've not realized it," Ghrian laughed again. She turned to Iskra once more. "Love, would you like something to eat? Haven't you had anything?" 

"No," Iskra replied. "I went out and caught some food myself. I'll be okay."

"My, good work youngster," Ghrian said, smiling. "You know, I'd love to have you as a daughter." 

Although she appreciated Ghrian's words, she felt unaffected by whatever reassurance she was trying to give. Then, she found herself unsure of anything, really. Slowly, she turned away toward the exit of the bush, and slipped between the branches and leaves.

"Iskra? Iskra! Where are you going?" Ghrian asked, yet Iskra simply padded away as she heard her confused voice gradually fade into silence. 

Her thoughts slipped into anger and sorrow. What's my purpose? she wondered. Goodness, I'm worthless. I can't seem to do anything. I'm just a waste of space, really. 

She sat down on the gravel, shocked by a jolt of pain in her hind paws. The pain instantly reminded her of that medic's words about her. As she stared down at her paws, she suddenly felt a pang of fear and hate within her heart. These are..tears? She was crying, and she questioned her own tears. Can I even call this place my home? I'm not doing anything for anyone here. No...what do I ever do? What do I think?

I'm...nothing.

-

"Silentdawn, can we talk at some point?" Stormray asked, taking her by surprise. She turned away from the squirrel she was eating, gazing into their blue eyes. 

The molly gulped down the piece of food she'd been chewing. "When?" she asked awkwardly.

"This evening," they replied. Without another word, the black cat turned away, their pelt beginning to appear more glossy in the morning sun. She thought about their words for a moment, and worry began to accelerate her heart. 

Don't leave me, please. I told you I'd never leave you. She wondered if it was simply overthinking the request. Yet, she couldn't shake this worry. She wished to be as close to them as she possibly could.

We broke the wall between us, didn't we? So we're supposed to be together. Then, she was wondering again. If she was being hurt by trying to get too close. Yet she was afraid. Afraid of keeping away from them, afraid of being alone.

Her uneasiness turned to nausea. Frustrated, she turned away and padded from the fresh-kill pile, only to suddenly find herself vomiting. Silentdawn was startled, considering a visit to the medic. 

This isn't normal. I've been feeling sick every morning now.