All Because I Couldn't Say I Love You

Not His Business

Kie

I don't finish my food. Luckily, im not known for finishing it. Know who is? JJ. Good job. You guessed it. When I convinced him I wasn't hungry enough to finish it, he took it, and cleaned that sucker. I wish I could say I wasn't surprised. It's so normal by now.

It was weird, because he took his time doing it, offering me some things as he went on. He did that sometimes, but I think he knows something. I don't want him to know something. It's not his business. I want him to live happily. Live knowing that he's gonna be safe, not worry about me. I love JJ too much to let him live like that.

I know, I feel guilty loving another man while in a relationship. But I don't feel love, just fear. I know what he'll do if I break things off. That's what scares me. I've been through two small bottles of primer, and 3/4's of my new foundation. I had some left, and I missed. One. Fucking. Bruise. Jayj saw it too. I'm too scared to tell him, but mainly, it's clearly not his business.

"Kie! You and I have to talk!" Sarah exclaims.

I groan, slowly getting up out of my seat, making JJ spring up, helping me out.

"It's okay... I gotcha, Kie." JJ whispers softly.

I smile, watching him kiss my hands in a smooth manor. He places his hand on my middle back, guiding me to wherever Sarah wants to talk. I feel the broken couch as I sit down. JJ smiles down at me. He leans down, gently kissing my cheek. He heads outside. I watch him walk, but he catches me. He just winks at me, then heads back by the boys and Cleo.

"Sooo...?" I start.

"So! I wanna hear about your boyfriend! Is he sweet? You love him? What's he like?" She asked, furrowing her brows.

"Uh- he's sweet.. um, we haven't really used that word. Well, we did once, but I don't know. He's very- intent with the relationship." I finish, gulping whatever fear I had talking about him, down. 

"Kie, are you sure? I mean, I've noticed the way he talks to you. Or about you. I don't like it-" I cut her off almost immediately.

I shoot up to my feet, "nothing's going on!" I panic.

"Woah, Kie, relax, I was just-" I cut her off again.

"You- you don't know what the hell you're talking about!" I say, rushing to grab my things from the counter.

I run out the door. I feel my breath hitch. I can't breathe. I'm suffocating.

Fuck.

Sarah

I don't follow her, I run outside, freaking out. I hear the boys talking. I run over to John B, grabbing his shoulders. Tears run down my face, and I'm panting hard.

"Woah, woah, hey! It's everything okay, sar?" He asks, grabbing my waist to stabilize me.

"Kie. Boyfriend. Ran." I managed to say between sobs.

"Ay, she went to go find em?" Cleo asked.

I violently shook my head.

"She ran out because of him?" Pope asks.

I point at him, letting everyone know that's the one.

Everyone gets up. JJ's the first to get to a vehicle. He gets on his dirt bike, and I point the general direction. He salutes, and quickly drives off. John B and I head for the Twinkie, and I don't know what Pope and Cleo are doing.

Pope

See, I've had suspicions. It's the same way JJ acted at first. Kie's taking that role. I didn't want this to happen, but I have talked to everyone but JJ about it. I know he knows something, but it hasn't clicked. I mean, Ashton isn't dead, so, it really hasn't clicked. Who knows, I could be wrong too.