Safe & Sound- (A Taylor Swift AU)

~chapter 30~ I Feel You Forget Me

Taylor's POV (January 25th)
I'm 18 weeks pregnant! I'm so excited about this pregnancy and all the milestones. But I'm alone. I've gone through the past month of this pregnancy alone. It has been exactly one month since I gave Travis the news about his leg. He still won't talk to me and won't touch me. I'm still taking care of him and being patient with him though. He can walk now. It hurts a little but he's okay to walk. I love him so much. And I want to believe he loves me. He has to love me. I've had 2 ultrasounds since Christmas and he didn't want to go to either of them. Next week I have an appointment to find out the genders but if he doesn't get his act together I don't know if I'll want to. As of right now I want him to be there.

"Trav! Can you come help me!?" I yell from upstairs. "With what!?" He yells back. "Can you finish cooking? I'm too tired!" He comes downstairs and looks at me, "You're too tired to finish cooking? Then why'd you start?" I shrug, "I'm sorry. The babies are taking up my energy I need to sit down." He looks at me, "You aren't even that far along. You're pregnant not disabled." I tear up, "I'm tired Travvy." Travis rolls his eyes, "You're a mom you aren't allowed to be tired." I sigh and sit down, "Honey being pregnant is harder than you think." Travis shrugs and cooks, "Whatever Taylor." I just stay relaxed, "Thank you for helping me." He nods.

Jayden and Brielle walk into the house. They both graduated early after 1 semester last year. And Jayden starts college here in Kansas City in August. So they bought an apartment here. Stacy also moved to Kansas City to stay close to Jayden.

"Hey Tay. We got you guys groceries," Jayden says. "Hey guys. Thank you so much!" I say helping him put them away. "Oh so you're too tired to cook but you can help him put groceries away?" Travis groans. Jayden looks at me apologetically, "You can sit down if you're too tired Tay, I got it." I nod gratefully, "Thank you Jayden." I sit back down and listen in on Jayden and Travis's conversation. "Dad, she needs you. Now more than ever. Why are you pushing her away?" Travis ignores his question, "How's Brielle's pregnancy going?" Jayden fires the question back at him, "How's Taylor's pregnancy going? Do you even know?" Travis rolls his eyes, "She's fine."

Jayden rolls his eyes right back, "Is she though? How can you look at her and say she's fine. You're killing her "Killa Trav", she's in no way shape or form, okay! She needs you. She wants you. She loves you. But you're pushing her away! All because she was the one that told you. She wanted you to hear that your career as a player was coming to an end from her. Because she's the only one that knows you enough to know how to comfort you! But you won't let her because you wanna be this tough guy! You're making it look like you're upset at your pregnant fiancée because she told you no football. But in reality you're pushing her away because you're worried about your image!"

For the first time since he was shot I see a glimmer of light in Travis's eyes. Jaydens words affected him. Travis looks at the food he's cooking, then at Jayden and Brielle, then Chloe, and finally for the first time in forever he looks at me in a sincere way. Not because I'm talking to him, but because he wants to. It doesn't last long. He looks back at Jayden, "You don't know anything." Jayden laughs, "You know damn well my words just affected you. But now that you realize how right I am, how much you need Taylor, how important it is for you to get your head out of your ass. You only want to push her away more. How far are you gonna push? Until she leaves you? Until you have 4 kids and not just 2? Until you're a grandpa? How long are you gonna let this go? Get your head out of your ass dad! Taylor needs you."

Travis turns off the stove and plates the food. "Chloe here's your food princess!" Chloe comes running, "Thank you daddy." He sets it on the table and she sits down to eat it. He also sets a plate of food in front of me. I smile at him, "Thank you." He shrugs, "Don't get used to it." I sigh and take a bite. "We better get going, we just wanted to drop off some groceries," Jayden says hugging my shoulders from behind. "Okay, thank you. Love you guys, have fun," I say. Jayden and Brielle leave.

Travis now looks at me as he sits down at the table, "When are you finding out the genders of those things?" I raise a brow, "Things?" He nods. "Things don't have genders Travis. I'm finding out the gender of my sweet little babies in 1 week if that's what you're asking." He nods, "What are you hoping they are?" I take a bite of food, "What do you care?" Travis groans, "Christ Taylor! What the fuck do you want from me!? I don't talk to you, you're upset! I talk to you, you push me away! What the fuck do you want!? Why are you such a bitch!?" My appetite is suddenly gone. I put my fork down. "What did I do to you?" I ask calmly, "And don't tell me I took away football, because you know damn well I didn't. What did I do to deserve any of this? You don't touch me, you don't kiss me, you want nothing to do with me, or our babies. What did I do?"

"It's not you Taylor. It's me. You're too perfect," He says. "Nobody is perfect! Nobody is fucking perfect!" I sob, "You hate me and I want to know why! Why do you hate me!? I love you but you hate me! And you hate our babies! Because you're so obsessed with your fucking leg! And football! You don't care about anything except football! And Chloe! You love Chloe! But you hate me! For what!?"
"Okay Taylor you win. I don't deserve you. Is that what you wanna hear?" He sighs. "No babe! I wanna know your reasoning for pushing me away!"

He sighs, "Because without football I am nobody. People look at you and know who you are. If I'm not on that field I'm unrecognizable. You are easy to love, and very easy to fall in love with. Why would you want to love a nobody? Why should Taylor Swift have to take care of me? Why should Taylor Swift even love me? It's stupid Taylor. That's why I pushed you away instead of telling you. Because my feelings are stupid." I shake my head, "Nobody's feelings are stupid." I sit on his lap facing him and wrap my legs around him/the chair.

"I want to help you and take care of you until the day you die. I love you for you. I don't care about your career. Trav, I'd love you if you were a janitor." Travis sighs, "But Taylor you only know who I am because of media." I nod, "Okay, but now that I know you, you could be a janitor. Travis you are my fiancee. My forever and always. You are a good man. A patient man. You love your family. And you're an amazing dad. That's why I love you. Even if you pushed me away, I can forgive that. Because deep down I know, you are my Travis. You are my forever."

For the first time in a month we make eye contact in a loving way. His lips slowly come towards mine and I willingly lock them. Somethings still there. But part of the love is forgotten. Through this kiss. I can feel him forget me like I used to feel him breathe. It hurts. But some progress is being made. We let go of the kiss and he looks at me, "I don't know if I want the twins anymore."