The Delusional Psycho | Kth

16

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Park Jimin
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I look at the mirror at my hollow eyes, tense shoulders that won't ease down, my face pale and red, eye bags dark giving my face a creepy look, blonde hair drooping on my forehead and not slicked back as usual, red nerves ticking out from my white eyeballs.

I'm a mess. Yet I don't want to keep myself together right now. I failed, failed so miserably. Thought everything's in control until knew it never was. I can't gather to look at myself from the guilt and pain that is eating me inside as a whole meal.

My heart feels as if it will burst inside my rib cage from the fear that is suffocating me, my nightmares are returning all over again, seeing the bloody mess everywhere. It's all happening again, thought I healed but how wrong I am, it was just suppressed within me. I'm scared. Scared to lose the only person I have...

Eliana. My soulmate. My best friend. My only hope to live. My first priority. My happiness. My moon. My....sister....

I'm ashamed to even call myself her brother. All I have done is hurt her so much. She probably hates me, maybe cursing me everytime something bad happens and it's all because of me. Wish I had never left her but it was necessary to do so...

I don't want to engage her in anything that's relatable to me. I have thousand people at my neck ready to take me down. If they even smell my weakness. My only sister...they'll snatch her away from me. She is safe far away from me.

Oh how wrong I was....! I regret keeping her away now. I should've kept my only happiness near to me, near to my heart but I left her when she wanted me the most...I'm the worst brother she could get...Mom...I failed...I failed to keep your promise.

*Flashback*

A small 11 year old boy shaking as sobs wrack out of him but he keeps his small palm against his mouth to prevent himself from creating noise. Blood is all over the place splattered on the ground.

His small body was trembling while his sobs grew loud as he make out the face of the man in his thirties on the ground.

"Dad....dad...wake up....I'm...scared...please....!

No response even when he crouch down and shake his dad stubbornly to wake up and hug him, to comfort him and pretend that if they are just pranking them like the kids do with their parents.

"Dad....please...I'm sorry....I'll...not ask for...any...more..PlayStations...please dad...it's scaring me.....!!!" He continued on shaking the man whose wide eyes were staring soullessly at nothing while his white office shirt was soaked in dark red almost black blood.

"Ji..min..ah.." the small boy head whip to the sound of the woman laying a few feet away covered in her own puddle of blood from where his father is laying. He cry out and run towards her and hold her cold hand that was asking his. He lay down his head on her chest while loud cries burst out of him.

"Mom...don't leave me....I'm scared...!!!" The woman despite her bleeding body and the knife stuck in her stomach whisper to him, "Mom is tired...son...she wants to sleep...!" She caress his hair with her bloody hands.