Fearless Woman Barson Story

Chapter 6

Olivia walked swiftly into her office, and to her desk. She felt horrible both physically and emotionally, and it wasn't just because she was almost at the end of a difficult work day. This morning she ran into the guest room , found some clothes in the guest room closet, and dressed there. As she left her apartment, she caught a glimpse of Barba's face. He looked like he had just lost a beloved friend. It made Olivia sick to her stomach, and she hadn't been able to shake it all day.She hated to see Barba unhappy, She hated the crippling guilt she felt knowing that she caused his unhappiness. Without a word, Fin strode casually into the room and closed the door behind him. Olivia looked down at the papers on her desk, " What's up? I don't need to cut anybody, do I?"
Olivia looked up. Fin was now sitting in the chair across from her. "No", she answered, quickly. "Everything's fine, Fin. What's up with you?"
"How are you and Barba doin?" Fin asked, ignoring her question. Olivia just stared at him. She didn't want to say that she and Barba were doing badly., because that wasn't exactly true. At least she didn't think so. She also didn't want to say anything that would cause Fin to be angry at Barba. She couldn't tell him how confused she was. He would think she was out of her mind. "Liv, how are you and Barba doing?"
"We're... we're fine, Fin. I told you that."

"Whatever the 2 of you are going through, you'll get through it together. You always do. You always will."
"I said we're fine, Fin."
"Barba makes you happy, Liv. I never saw you happy till he came along."
"You saw me with Tucker, I was happy then."
"You think I'm just talking about your romantic relationship with Barba, but I'm not. I'm talking about your whole relationship. Barba came into your life way before you started dating Tucker. He was there when you broke up with Tucker. He was there when you adopted Noah. He's been there for you since the day he met you. The moment you became friends with him I saw a change in you, and by the way you were comfortable with Tucker, but you didn't seem happy. With Barba you're comfortable and happy." Olivia wanted to argue, but there was nothing to argue. She and Barba had spent countless hours together over the years talking. She could always talk to him. She could always disagree and argue with him, and he would never go away. Even at Forlini's, as he walked away, Barba let her know he would always be ready to come back into her life. He spoke about loving unconditionally. Did he love her unconditionally? "Go home to your man, Liv" She heard Fin say. Those words interrupted her thoughts.
"I can't right now, Fin." She whispered.
"Go home, Liv, now."

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Olivia drove home to her apartment, slowly. It took her 15 minutes to get onto her elevator. She walked at a turtle's pace to her apartment door, and waited to go inside. She wasn't sure what she was waiting for. Her mind was racing. She reached for her key, and unlocked the door. She dashed into the apartment, and quickly shut , and locked the door. "Rafa!" She called.
"I'm here, Liv." Rafael said, striding into the room. He stopped in front of her.
"I'm sorry about what I said this morning. I know you were just reminding Noah to be respectful. I know you would never hurt him, and I know that you have helped me with him. You have always been there for him. I'm sorry, Rafa. I was upset."
Rafael took 2 steps forward, and threw his arms around her. "I know." He whispered into her hair. "I know. It's OK." The hug was the best hug she ever had. She never wanted him to let go. She felt herself wrap her arms around him, and hang on tightly. "Te amo, Liv." He whispered. He moved away from her, ending the hug, and she almost cried. He gently took her hands in his, and she let him without a fight. His green eyes looked deeply into her brown ones. "What's wrong, Liv? You look like you're in pain."
"It's been a rough day. I took a disclosure today, and I can't get it out of my mind." She said, in a rush. "The victim didn't see her rapist face. He left no DNA! We have no leads!" She cried truthfully.
"Shh. It's OK. You'll find him, Liv. You'll find him, there will be leads."
"I feel terrible about the way I left here this morning." Olivia whispered.

"Shh" He said, leaning in, he kissed her temple.
"My head is pounding." She almost cried. She felt herself being lifted into Rafael's arms. "Shh, I'll take care of it." She closed her eyes, and enjoyed being carried in his surprisingly strong arms. He placed her gently on the couch. "Is Noah OK?"
"Yes, he's sleeping in his room." Rafael, answered, softly,. He kissed her forehead. "I'll be right back", he whispered. Olivia wanted to beg him to stay, but she stopped herself. She heard him quietly leave the room. She tried to fight sleep, but she quickly drifted off. "Liv, wake up, mi amor. Olivia heard Rafael say. She wasn't sure how much time had passed. She opened her eyes, and Rafael was staring down at her. She was happy and relieved that she was still here with him.
"Rafa," She whispered .

"I'm here. I drew you a bath", he said. "I know you didn't eat breakfast. Did you eat anything today?"
"No", Olivia answered, softly.
"I knew the answer to that question before I asked it", Rafael replied.
"You drew me a bath?"
"You sound surprised. Do you want me to help you in there?"
"No... no. She said, nervously. "No, it's OK. I can manage." Olivia moved off the couch before Rafael could say anything. She walked quickly to the bathroom, and closed the door behind her. She took off her clothes, and got into the tub. The water was the perfect temperature. It felt like she prepared it herself, but she knew she didn't. She washed her hair and body as quickly as she could. She suddenly felt compelled to see Rafael. She was also scared to see him. She got out of the tub, and put on her most comfortable winter nightgown. It was a long white almost floor length flannel gown with long sleeves and a V-neck. It was not only her most comfortable winter nightgown, it was her favorite, and Rafael had laid it out for her. She put on her winter slippers and slipped on her robe. She touched the bathroom door knob, slowly turned it, and walked out into the living area where Rafael was standing, and waiting for her.
"Feeling any better?" Rafael asked.
"A little, the bath helped."
"Good. Follow me", Rafael said, moving toward the couch. Olivia followed. She watched Rafael sit on the couch, and she immediately sat beside him. Rafael picked up a plate from the coffee table in front of them. "I made you a grilled chicken sandwich", he said, holding out the plate to her.
"I can't eat, but thank-you."
"Please, try. You haven't eaten all day. It might help your headache."
Olivia slowly took the plate from Rafael's hands. The plate was warm, and Olivia was grateful for that. "Thank-you", she said, softly. She took a tiny bite of the sandwich. Then she took another bigger bite. 10 minutes later, the sandwich was gone. "I'll get you a drink", Rafael said. standing up from the couch.
"Rafa, don't go, please."
"I'm just going to the kitchen. I'll be right back. Rafael ran into the kitchen, and was back within 5 minutes with a glass of water. He sat down on the couch beside Olivia and handed her the glass. She drank the water slowly.
"Thank-you", she said, when she finished drinking. She placed the empty glass beside the empty plate on the coffee table.
"You don't have to thank me." Rafael said, softly. He gently grabbed her hand, and slowly he stood up with her. "Come on, let's get you to bed."
"I won't argue with that", Olivia replied. Rafael laughed, and hand in hand they walked into the bedroom.
Rafael turned down the covers on Olivia's side of the bed, and watched her get into it. He quickly got into bed beside her. Then, he turned his face to her. ""Does your head still hurt, mi amor?"
"A little", she answered, softly. Quickly, Rafael moved his hand, and seconds later, Olivia felt both of his hands massaging her temples. After several moments, one of his hands moved to her forehead, and began massaging there. Olivia could feel her headache leaving her. Rafael began to hum. She felt her entire body start to relax. She closed her eyes, and was about to drift off to sleep when she heard a ringing phone.