Fearless Woman Barson Story

Chapter 9

Olivia sat at her desk studying all the disclosures she had taken over the last few days looking for clues. She found almost nothing, and she hated that every few minutes she thought of Barba. She sighed loudly, grabbed her purse, ran out of her office, and out of the building. She entered her car, and sped away.She only drove a shot while before she arrived at her destination, She turned off the ignition, exited her car, entered Amanda's building, ran up stairs, and to Amanda's apartment door. She knocked once, and Amanda answered the door after several minutes.
"Liv, hi, I just put the baby down. Are you OK?"
"Barba's too good to me",Olivia blurred out.

"Get in here now!" Amanda said, stepping forward, and yanking Olivia inside.
"Amanda, let go!" Olivia said, shocked. Amanda let go of her.

"Shut the door, and sit down on the couch. Amanda demanded, turning her back to her friend, and matching into the living room. Olivia quietly shut the door, and followed her into the living room. She did not sit down. "What do you mean Barba is too good to you?"
"I mean exactly what I said. Barba's too good to me. He cooks for me."
"Carisi cooks for me." Amanda replied.
"Barba calms me, Olivia whispered.
"I know. What's wrong with that? What's going on with you, Liv?"
"I don't know, Amanda."
"Well I know that Barba loves you. You make his life better, and he treats you the way you deserve to be treated."
"I almost kissed him last night, I wanted him to make love to me, Amanda!" Olivia said quickly.
Amanda raised her eyebrows. "Liv, honey, you do know that you're married to him? it's normal, it's good, it's great.
"I know I'm married to him", Olivia responded. She sighed and continued to speak. "I had a rough day yesterday, I came home to Barba, and he calmed me down. He danced with me."
"And?" Amanda asked, her tone both curious and confused.
"And my phone rang."
"And you had to go to a crime scene which interrupted you and Barba."
"No, Stabler called me."

"Oh, noo", Amanda groaned.
"Amanda, please let me finish."
"OK, go on."
Olivia sighed, and continued, softly. "Stabler called me, he left a voicemail, I listened to it the next day. He asked me to meet him after work tomorrow. That was yesterday. I didn't go, I went home to Barba instead."
"Thank goodness for that. Let me guess. When you didn't show up, Stabler called."

"Yes", Olivia confirmed. "I feel so guilty."
"Guilty, why, because you went home to your husband?" You did nothing wrong, Liv. Have you spoken to Stabler since he left a voicemail?"
"No I didn't know what to say, he left another voicemail last night. I should have picked up the phone when I heard it ring."
"No!" Amanda said, quickly. "What did you do after your phone rang last night?"
"I told Barba I was tired, and I went to bed. It wasn't a lie, I was exhausted. I was exhausted, and overwhelmed."
"Liv, why didn't you continue the night with your husband?"
"Amanda, I just said, I was overwhelmed."
"Did Barba join you in bed?" Amanda asked, hopefully.
"He came to bed, but I was sleeping. When I woke up I saw him lying beside me." Olivia began to pace. "Stabler must be so mad at me."
"Who cares?" Amanda almost yelled.
Olivia immediately stopped pacing, and turned to her friend. "What?"
"I said, who cares?"
"Amanda, he needs to talk to me. "
"Let him talk to someone else, it doesn't have to be you. If it has to do with a case let Fin deal with him."
"I can't do that, Amanda, I have to talk to him."
"Why?" Liv, the man left you for a decade with no explanation, then he decided to come back, and use you like a doormat."
"His wife died!"
"Yes, his wife died, and I'm very sorry about that, but after Kathy died he hurt you, over and over again. You don't owe him anything, Liv. You aren't Stabler's wife, you're Barba's wife. Barba is your best friend, and the man of your dreams. When Stabler came back, and he hurt you, it was always Barba who picked up the pieces of your shattered heart, and put them back together."
"I think you're exaggerating just a little bit. Stabber didn't shatter my heart."
"I'm not exaggerating, he shattered your heart over, and over again, and it was Barba who was there for you. He will always be there for you. Don't let Stabler come between you and your husband, please."
"Amanda!" Sonny called as he walked through the front door. "I'm home!" Sonny walked quickly into the living room. "Liv, I'm glad you're here, Barba just called me. He said that your cell phone was off, and he was getting worried. "
"Thanks, Carisi", Olivia replied. She began to walk out of the living room.
"I'll walk you out." Amanda said, following her out of the room, and to the door.
"Thanks for the talk, Amanda."
"I'm always here, Liv", Amanda replied. "Talk to me again soon, and remember what I said. Focus on what you have with Barba. The 2 of you have been through so much together. You have an anniversary coming up, celebrate it."
Olivia opened the door, and stepped outside. "Thanks, Amanda, I'll talk to you soon." Olivia walked to her car, got inside, and drove away.