Flawed and Tainted

CHAPTER 14. Cured

Violet

“I'm sorry”

My breath hitched, surprise written in every feature of my face. “Wait, what?” I think to myself, “Why would she say sor–” the idea appears without warning, clouding every single cell in my brain as it forms. Did she tell someone what she saw? Did she tell them? A lump grows in my throat, the bitterness of my thoughts preventing me from asking her out loud. Could they be waiting for her to heal my wounds so they can finally get a grip on me? I shake my head internally, softly scoffing at the absurdity of it all. What am I thinking? They wouldn't care if I was wounded or not as long as I became their sacrifice. Simultaneously, Sam letting me go makes its way to my memory, making it all more confusing. Anyhow, what happened just a few hours ago is a once in a lifetime chance, I can’t trust him, or anyone else for that matter. And yet, here I am.

As if sensing my trail of thoughts, Melody shoots her head up, her eyes widening noticeably before beginning to shake her head.

“Oh no. Wait, that was not what I meant!” she stops when she sees my brows lifting in a questioning gesture before trying again. “I mean, I did, but not like that.” she corrects, grimacing slightly.

She then sighs, closing her eyes for a moment. Locking her gaze directly on mine, she dares to speak once more.

“What I mean is that I am sorry, but not because I told anyone about your injuries, or your…situation.” she pauses, choosing her next words carefully. “I haven’t told anyone anything, I’m the only one who has seen you these past few days.”

“I’ve been asleep for days?! How has no one noticed me missing?” I keep those agitated questions to myself.

“I said I was sorry because I felt guilty, Violet.” she shows me a sad smile before continuing, “I don’t think I would have saved you if you weren’t…well, you. I’ve never really felt ashamed of being part of the people who are in charge of making sure the barrier goes up by any means necessary –she articulates, noticeably imitating Sam's dad's speeches. She pauses, her face turning serious again.

“I always wondered why your people rebelled over the centuries, why you were nowhere to be seen in our time of need. I’m sorry, I really am.” she avoids my eyes, hers watering ever so slightly, but it disappears so quickly I believe I might have imagined it.

“Now I know why you're hiding. Why you dyed your beautiful hair. If anyone discovered you or so much as suspected you…” she doesn’t finish her sentence, but we both know she doesn’t have to. “I want to help you” she suddenly blurts out, making my eyes widen and my mouth open a little. What did she just say?

“You what?” I ask, surprise and incredulity laced in my tone.

“I want to help you. I already know you’re…” she motions to me with her head. “I won’t tell anybody but I don’t think you have much time left. And considering people might already suspect you thanks to Sam's discovery, I think you might need some help, and I'm willing to give it to you.” she says, grinning as if she hadn’t just thrown a bucket of ice cold water on me.

“What…What did you just say?” I ask slowly, trying not to panic.

She instantly regrets her words and hesitates, but, as if knowing I’ll find out sooner or later, she responds.

“Sam came back a few days ago late at night with a few minor injuries, explaining he had encountered a few Myrkers while in the woods and…” she trails off, looking at me “the White One”.

I keep my eyes on her, my full attention on every word, urging her to continue as she hesitates.

“He said he thought the White One was a girl. He hadn’t been able to see her face but her figure in the moonlight had been too short and slim to be a man.” she hurriedly says, almost making me not understand a thing. I do, though immediately wish I hadn’t as bile slowly rises to my throat, making me dizzy and forcing me to steady myself with the help of the wall.

“Sam knows the White One is a she?” I whisper, not caring if Melody listens to me. It’s not a huge surprise, of course he could have known that, after all, my scream surely gave me away, but telling the others? That's one of the few things I was hoping for not to happen. “He…told everyone?”

Betrayal hits me like a sharp knife, cutting me in ways I didn’t think possible. Betrayal? Why would I feel betrayed by someone who I didn’t even trust in the first place? Did I have… expectations of him? Why did some part of me trust him, somehow? And why does a part of me still trust him after that?

It’s my fault actually. If I stopped giving people the benefit of doubt, I wouldn’t get hurt, I wouldn't feel betrayed by something that wasn’t even there, by someone that never was on my side. But isn’t Melody a clear example that I should doubt people and not block them right away? Isn’t she on my side?

“I know you might not want to hear this right now, but I don’t think Sam really exposed you. At least not entirely. I’ve known him since we were little. I could practically feel him trying to process something, I just didn’t know what it was until later. He had to give his father and the others an explanation, and they would have easily known if he had lied about not seeing you because someone else saw a figure roaming around the forest before Sam passed through the gates. He had to say something. He just said the White One was probably a girl but he hadn't had time to see anything else due to the Myrker appearing shortly after. Once I had heard that, I came to you, well, to the shop, and saw you through the window, bleeding and unconscious on the floor. I then knew he hadn’t said everything. I was able to get to you on time thanks to a spear key Elga keeps underneath a plant pot outside the shop.” I listen to everything as my emotions slowly take control once more. He —somehow— protected me?

The thought of him protecting me to some extent is somehow much more pleasant than him betraying me.

I have never had someone entirely on my side before in my whole life, and, if they were, they didn't know the real me. They were always in the dark, surrounded by lies. Being able to feel as if someone is finally there for me even if a part of me is still unsure, is so relieving. It feels as if I myself were coming out of the dark.

“We’re on your side Violet” she assures me, her smile finally coming back to her face.

The words reach me as the complicated mask I have built over the years shatters, leaving me broken and crying on the floor as Melody comes to hug me. The tears run down my face non-stop as a corner of my mouth slowly lifts, revealing a half smile.

“I’m so relieved” I say between sobs, my hands reaching to push my tears away and be able to see her through my blurred vision. “Thank you Mel.”