Choose us (Wilmon FF)

28

Wilhelm

The day after the gala was now the day he was looking forward to the most. To the moment when he could touch Simon again, praise (and reward) him for how great he had sung the day before. And that's exactly what he woke up with the day after. Only this time he was still worried because he really hadn't looked well. Not in a sick way, more like he was dying of anxiety and Wilhelm knew that well. So the first thing Wilhelm did was to write Simon a message.

Wilhelm: Hey, darling <3
Wilhelm: I hope you're better and we can meet (?)
(received)

While Wilhelm was getting ready, he kept looking at his cell phone, waiting for the two grey heels to finally turn blue. But even after breakfast they were still gray and that made him a little nervous. So he sneaked off to the choir's sleeping area and bumped into Ayub and Rosh. "Hey." he said shyly and the two looked at him briefly with wide eyes. "Hello, Kron Prinz." Rosh was the first to say. "Please, tell Wilhelm." Wilhelm replied immediately. "Anyway, have you seen Simon? He's not answering me and I'm getting worried."

"He was babbling something about the music room after breakfast." Ayub said with a shrug. "Okay, thanks." Wilhelm said in a rush and took off at a run. Luckily for him, the music room was just around the corner. Not just practically, it was around the corner. And just as he rounded the corner, another person banged into him. "Hmph." it went and he stumbled backwards. Wilhelm instinctively grabbed the person and pulled him to his chest. "Hi." he mumbled as he stood so close to Simon that he only had to lean forward a little so he could have kissed him. "Hey." Simon said and took a step back without hesitation. "Hey, I'm worried." Wilhelm said and tried to pull Simon back towards him, but he only took another step back. "I've written to you." he tried again but it was no use.

"It... My cell phone didn't charge overnight. I didn't get a message." Simon said and Wilhelm knew that was an outright lie. "Why are you lying-" but he was interrupted. "I... I have to go." he mumbled and stepped around Wilhelm so quickly that he couldn't even reach for him. And by the time Wilhelm realized it, Simon was gone. He looked down at the floor and there it was. A piece of paper which he picked up and unfolded.

Wilhelm,
I know you'll never read this, but I just have to get it off my chest. I love what we have but I can't do it anymore. It hurts to love this. It hurts to like you.
If we don't break it off it will hurt us both more than it will hurt if we stop now. So please don't be angry with me. I'm gonna do the last gala with the choir
because I need the money and you know exactly why. I really like you a lot but we both know that at some point I'll be a mistake you made in your youth. And I don't want to be that. I don't want to be something you'll regret and keep secret for the rest of our days.  Please be smart enough not to fight for something that will be over after the last gala anyway. Maybe right now in another universe we sit together on a bench, holding hands and living the life we can't have in this. In another universe we might be exactly that what we are right now and we can be that forever. I had a dream last night about another universe. I'll tell you.
We are both sixteen, attending a boarding school. You're the crownprince of Sweden and I am a workclass boy. So exactly what we are right now. You have a cousin there ( I don't remember his name) and he makes and publishes a short sextape of us. It brings drama and leaves scars. I'd leave you for a short while but we'll make it through. In the end you have some kind of speach and after denying it was you in said tape, you say the truth, smiling to me. It felt real but then I woke up crying because it was another universe, just a dream. So maybe in another universe we can be what we can't be in this one.  Hold onto the universes where we can be happy and never forget what we had. Maybe someday our paths will cross in some strange way but for now?
For now I'll go left and you will go right and we will look back and be happy we made that decision.
Yours sincerely,
Simon

Tears fell on the floor aswell as Wilhelm himself. Something in him died.

In the evening he sat alone at the dinner table and looked over at the other side. And there he was. The shadow Wilhelm had pushed aside for so long. It gave him a devilish smile, saying: „I am back, Wilhelm. Did you really think I would leave this easily? You know that I always come back when..."
„...I am not good enough." Wilhelm thought. He fighted with that thing so many times and always came out as the victor. But this time? Maybe he would let it win for once. Cause what was the point now? He, again, lost a person he... Wilhelm looked down at his plate, a small pool of tears gathering there.

Wilhelm lost a person he loved. Again.