Choose us (Wilmon FF)

30

(Three weeks until the last gala)
Wilhem

To say that he was fed up was an understatement. He was fucking furious. There had been pure silence between him and Simon for three days and Wilhelm wanted to scream. He couldn't get in touch with him, messages were read but not answered and he couldn't go to Simon in person because the risk of being seen during the day was too high. Which, matter of fact, shouldn't have mattered to him but it did anyway. He felt shit for it though. So his only option was to text Simon like there was no tomorrow.

Wilhelm: Simon, I'm serious, we need to talk. [read]

Wilhelm: Simme, please, I can't take this silence anymore. [read]

Wilhelm: Okay, I am in the kitchen. You can come and we can talk or you don't and I'll leave this alone. I'd be happy if you do, but it's your choice. [read]

Three small dots appeared briefly and Wilhelm's heart raced. It beat faster than it had ever done before. A second later they disappeared again. And again and again. Until finally a message came that made him feel like his heart just jumped out his chest.

Simon: okay

And Wilhelm, who infact wasn't in the kitchen, sprinted off to get there before Simon.

He arrived completely out of breath and immediately reached for a glass of water. The coldness of the water flowed down his throat and it felt nice; relieving. He sat down and looked into his glass until he heard a gentle knock. His head shot up and he saw Simon standing hesitantly in the doorway. Before he could control his body, he stood and rushed over to Simon. But before his hands could reach for him, he stepped past Wilhelm and went into the kitchen.

"Say what you want to say and then I'll leave," Simon mumbled and Wilhelm was immediately brought back down to earth. "Excuse me?" he asked, minimally confused. "Say what you want to say so I can go again, Wilhelm." And ouch. The sound of his full name coming out of Simon's mouth hurt more than he thought it would. And it wasn't even angry. It was a soft, broken voice that Wilhelm didn't recognize. It sounded fragile. Later he would lie in bed and apologize to the nightsky in tears for what he did next.

"Are you kidding me?" Wilhelm said slightly louder, more aggressively, "I want to talk to you over here and you want to fuck off! Are you for real?" He was really loud now and slammed the letter on the table and Simon's eyes got big. Wilhelm couldn't help but let out a scoff. "Really? You really didn't want me to get this letter?"

"Of course not!" Simon roared, gesticulating wildly through the air with his hands, "This shit starts with you not supposed to getting it. Why-"

"You're actually fucking kidding me, aren't you? Are you fucking serious, Simon?" Wilhelm shouted and noticed himself spitting. But he didn't give a shit in this situation. All the anger that gathered in him over the past days, finally spilled over the edge and was now filling his body. "Yes I am, Wilhelm! I'm doing this for our own good," Simon practically spat back. "You're doing shit!" Wilhelm said, still louder than was probably necessary. Simon just shook his head, "You really don't understand, do you?"
"What am I not supposed to understand? Because everything I'm getting is a signal here right now, that tells me that the last few weeks have only been for you to say 'Hey, I once fucked the Prince now even King of Sweden!' That fucking sucks Simon!" Wilhelm roared and he saw something in Simon just break. Like an important vase from your grandmother where you know it will be hard to fix it. Maybe you can never fx it. So Wilhelm felt bad immediately. But before he could take it back and justify himself or anything really, Simon spoke, silently and obviously hurt:

"Actually, I wanted you to understand that it hurts me as much as it hurts you to break this off. Because you're getting married in a few weeks and you will forget me and it's easier to hit the breaks now than then. I wanted you to understand how much you mean to me. I wanted you to understand that I... that I'm doing this for your own good because it will hurt like hell when we go our separate ways again after the last gala. But yes, Wilhelm, the last few weeks were just so that I could say something to someone someday like: Hey, you won't believe me, but before our king got married, I fucked him and he liked it. Yes, Crown Prince, that's exactly what I wanted to let you know."

Tears build in his eyes as he wiped away the tears that are already falling, making his cheeks wet. "Honestly, Wilhelm? Fuck you. Fuck you for even thinking that I would say that in any kind of situation. I have that much fucking human empathy that tells me not to pull shit like that. Fuck you for making me feel shit for something I didn't even do. And... oh, I don't even know. Just go fuck yourself, Crown Prince. I will not be a toy you can put in a corner whenevr you want." Simon said so quietly and still so damn hurt. He pushed past Wilhelm out of the kitchen. Wilhelm tried to grab his wrist but when he turned around, Simon was gone. And for real this time. Wilhelm sank onto one of the bar stools and reached for the letter Simon had written. Tears fell and the ink on the page smudged and the last words were no longer legible. But Wilhelm knew what it said. "Fuck." he muttered and walked down the halls into his room, leaving little drops of like slat tasting water on the expensive carpets of the castle.

There was no such thing as breathing right now. Air seemed to be a thing of impossibility for his lungs. He was sure that if he breathed fast enough, oxygen would fill his lungs again, but nothing happened. With Simon leaving the kitchen, it was takes from him. The light, the color, the air he needed to breathe. He breathed faster and faster, more and more uncontrollably and that's when it started. The trembling of his hands, causing him to massage his chest with his right hand in the hope that it would get better, but it didn't. Then came the unstoppable tears that ran like Niagara Falls and Wilhelm breathed even more uncontrollably. Stones lay on his chest and he felt like he was drowning. He sat down carefully on his bed as the room began to spin. But before he could reach for his phone to text Simon one last time, apologizing for his behavior his vision went black.

A/N Is this chapter earlier up here than I wanted? Yes. Am I sorry for that? No. In the next few days there is a lot going on but I will post a chapter sometime around Wednesday or Thursday. What comes more in handy for me. I love you all and thanks for reading everything so far. Means more to me than you could know 💜💜💜