My Other Half

My Savior

Billie picked me up without question and I feel terrible. Not only for inconveniencing her but also for not even telling her what's wrong. As soon as we reached the house, I locked myself in the bathroom and she allowed me time alone. Billie has always understood me, to the point where it's scary, and I've done the same for her.

So when I hear the door jiggling, I know it's only a matter of time before she reaches me. I wipe my face as best I can, blowing my nose to clear myself up before I have to talk. The door soon flies open, the blonde's fingers moving deftly to catch it before it hits the wall. She glances down at the latch and smacks her teeth before looking at me.

I avoid her gaze but that doesn't deter her at all. Her arms wrap around me and she picks me up. I'm not sure where she leads me since my face is buried in her neck but I trust her. I feel soft fabric envelope me and I raise my head to see I'm on a bed, I presume it's her bedroom. The mattress dips beside me and I know she's taken a seat, her hand grasping one of mine.

For a while we just sit like that until I'm ready to tell her everything, which I do. From the first moment I had the feeling to when I caught them the first time. How I let Cordelia convince me it wasn't true to when I found out it was. "I just... I can't help feeling like I wasn't good enough for her" I sigh, "that's not true, bunny" she whispers and I shake my head as I lay it on her shoulder.

"Then why else would she do it? Why would she cheat? Why? She could've just told me if she — if she fell out of love... it would hurt of course but I'd rather that than this" she pulls me closer as my breathing shudders, whispering soft reassurances. Her words don't quite penetrate the dark space in my mind but I know she's right anyway.

"But I failed and now I have to look her in the face everyday knowing that — knowing she chose someone else and..." I stop myself as I think about my words. "You don't have to go back if you don't want to. You're always welcome here, you know that" she tells me but I can't accept that. "I have to... what about the girls? They depend on me, I can't just leave them" I reason and she nods.

As I talk to her about possibly staying here until I find a place, I hear the door creak. My eyes fly to it and I see another blonde standing before me. It doesn't take me long to register who she is, Audrey Tindall. My brain quickly puts it together and I freeze. "Well hi" she chuckles and that seems to kickstart my system.

"O-oh I didn't..." I stutter as I realize our position, me wrapped in Billie's arms on the bed they probably sleep in — a lot more then sleep actually. "It's ok, sweetheart. Hi, darling" Billie utters, her arms never leaving me or losing their firm grip. "No I ummm- I'll go" I force out, pulling myself away from the medium in regret.

The smile on Audrey's face drops to a look of confusion but I don't pay much attention as my gaze fixes on the floor. I quickly brush past her, whispering an apology for intruding. As my hand falls on the knob of the front door, a firm hand stops it from opening. I turn around to see Billie who looks at me with eyes full of concern.

"Where are you going?" she asks softly, "I-I don't know..." I mumble. "Stay here" she states and I shake my head, "I can't you and- I can't" I mumble as I turn to open the door again. "I'm not letting you leave here alone. So either you stay or we both go" she argues and I sigh deeply, she knows I won't let her leave because it'll make me feel even worse.

"Fuck you" I mutter as I move from by the door and head down the hall, "I love you too, bunny" she chuckles behind me. I make it to the guest bedroom and I fall face first onto the bed in defeat. I hear her light footsteps stop next to me and I turn my head to see her bare thighs. "My eyes are up here" she jokes and I playfully roll my eyes as I flip onto my back so I can look up at her.

"Will you be ok sleeping alone? If not, I can always stay with you" she offers and I shake my head quickly, not wanting to take her away from her girlfriend. "Audrey will understand, trust me" she quells my unspoken fears effortlessly but I'm still hesitant to accept the offer. "I take it by your silence that's a yes" she states before leaving the room.

She returns soon with an extra pillow that she places on the opposite side of the bed. I turn onto my side, my back facing her as I bring my knees closer to me. The bed shifts and I feel her lay an arm over my waist, using it to pull herself closer to me. I don't make any move to get closer to her since we're pretty close already and it's a bit awkward for me.

"Is this ok?" she whispers and I shiver involuntarily, not expecting her mouth to be right next to my ear. "You should really be sleeping with your girlfriend" I state, "well I wasn't sure you'd wanna hear that but sure I guess" she chuckles softly and I roll my eyes. "You know what I mean" I counter, "why is it that you can't believe I want to be here?" she asks and I don't reply.

"I asked you a question" she prompts after a few minutes of silence. "Because... I know you're wasting your time. Whatever Cordelia saw, you'll see it too. In fact, I don't know how you haven't already" I whisper, "Bunny..." she sighs sadly. "It's true. I just wanna sleep, ok? So umm could you..." I mumble and she takes her arm away, moving a few inches back. I curl myself tighter and shut my eyes, praying for this day to be over.