goodbye calls. [short stack fan fic]

Part 61

Now I was away from the public eye I was shaking.

I was cold and I was scared.

I don’t know why I was scared, maybe my subconscious was trying to tell me something; something I didn’t want to admit to.

Internally I was fighting myself for making such a show, for bringing hate on the guys.

I was happy too, it was the end of the tour and we ended it on a good note.

There was also Andy’s party to look forward to.

Bradie and maddie walked past us, maddies make up was perfect as always; but bradie wasn’t as happy as he usually was; only a hint of a smile played on his lips.

Instantly I knew something was up.

“Wanna walk to sonny’s place?” Shaun asked me. “It’s not that far. I promise.”

“But it’s cold!” I whined, opening the door to the green room, there were two people in the corner, both entwined around each other so it looked like one person. “And anyway; look at the amount of stuff we’d have to carry there!”

“Shut up and live with it.” Shaun said sarcastically, his eyes were twinkling as he threw my jacket at me. “Hey beau.” He said, as I put my jacket on. “We’re goin’ to sonny’s place; ask one of the guys to give you directions.”

One of the people in the corner turned to look at us and nodded at Shaun

If that was beau, who was he kissing? I walked over to the couch and sat down, making out I was exhausted, I quickly looked at the corner where the two people were.

There was a bright shirt, hair colour that I recognised; but didn’t know where from, there were a bright pair of skinnies on the legs of the unseen person, and the voice was so familiar.

It was killing me, who was it?!

Beau shifted slightly to one side; I watched astounded as the puzzle pieces fell into place, one by one in my mind’s eye. It was Kelly.

My mouth must have been open; Shaun walked over to me, placed his hand under it and gently closed it for me. “It’s nothing new. If you paid attention after the show you woulda seen it. And plus” he added “The only thing I wanna see in there is food. Or something else.” He said winking and then running.

“You dirty minded …. Thing!” I yelled at him as he ran out the door; expecting me to chase him.

Sighing and getting up, shooting glances at beau and Kelly as I left and picking up a packet of skittles I’d bought earlier on our shopping rampage, I left the room.

Not in search of Shaun, in search of the girl who was out to get me.

I needed to apologise for what I’d done, and what she believed was reality; when in truth, it was just a fake; some fans wish to know what was really going on in our lives.

“Shit.” I said, to no one in particular. It was almost midnight, the time the party started.

I only had a few minutes to find, and say sorry to the girl.

Opening the packet and eating a few skittles I walked outside into the fresh salty sea air.

A wave of nostalgia hit me as I remembered the time I’d spent with my mum, on the beach that so often appeared in my dreams.

I stopped, standing like a statue, as the healing wounds tore open and my heart fell into the pit of my stomach; my voice caught in my throat and my mouth went bone dry.

When my body finally unfroze I sat down on the cold ground and wrapped my arms around my legs.

I thought I was going so well, that I was keeping the past at bay; that the black hole of despair was receding, it was leaving me alone. Or so I’d hoped.

Shut up and get over it. Act like the person your mother wanted you to be. A part of my brain told me.

Give it time a smaller part said. All wounds heal eventually.

“Yeah.” I said out loud, looking like a nutcase if anyone saw me “Except the fatal ones.”

I wasn’t sure what to do, if I should cry, scream, or try and run away.

I sat outside fighting with each of my feelings, trying to bring them into my control again.

“Iz?” someone said behind me. I closed my eyes and wished with all my heart that it wasn’t Shaun.

I didn’t want him to see me this hopeless, like the little girl I wished I could be; so careless, not caring if daddy didn’t come home. Not minding if I had to sleep at Aunty Dianne’s for a few months.

Desperately using up my last efforts on that dream I turned to where the voice came from.

Stacey was standing there, holding hands with Andy; they both looked worried.

I looked out over the water, plastering a smile to my face in a last ditch effort to make them believe I was ok.

“Happy birthday Andy.” I said simply as I walked past them; going inside to get the party supplies, a navigator to get to sonny’s place and maybe to see where Shaun had gone.

Ok guys, i have a question for who ever reads this: would  you like to read the original GBC (the one written by me and ONLY me) or the one @farfromsarah cowrites? (take it into consideration that the original has considerably less parts then the co written one, because i've only just taken it up again. Also that apparently this story changes dramatically.)

thanks for reading x