Chapter 22 - Fire

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Katya's POV:

"I-I don't think I can d-do this," I sob, struggling for air. Thomas sits on the floor, holding me in his lap. My head is resting on his shoulder, positioned in a way so I can't see my father's body.

Thomas smooths my hair with one hand, the other wrapped protectively around my back. "I know, but you have to. We can't stay here. Brenda and Jorge are coming to get us, but we need to find Teresa first."

I nod, but none of that makes me feel any better. Maybe I should stay here. I don't deserve to go to this "safe haven" if Newt isn't there. I should stay in the Last City, and whatever happens to me, I deserve it. I helped WCKD. "I'm so sorry, Thomas. For everything that we did."

Thomas moves my head until my eyes are level with his. "You weren't part of WCKD, Katya. You have made it clear that you don't agree with what they have been doing. You aren't one of them," Thomas says, smiling sympathetically at me. "You're one of us."

I try to smile back at him, but the pain I'm feeling is too unbearable. I place my head back on his shoulder. We stay in that position for what feels like forever, the only sounds our uneven breaths and distant thunder, until Thomas breaks the silence.

"When Newt was...dying, he made me promise him something. He said 'No matter what, keep her safe.' And I swore on my soul that I would, but that wasn't enough. He...was begging me, over and over again." Thomas' chest heaves with the weight of the words, but he fights through it. "Just constantly, he said... 'Please, Tommy. Please.' I kept promising I would, but I don't think he was listening." Thomas pauses, wiping tears off his face, and hugs me tightly.

"I think the hardest part of everything that has happened is knowing that he was just so desperate for you to be okay. That even when he was dying, he was still worrying about you. Newt really loved you, Katya. His missing memories didn't stop that." Thomas tilts his head toward the ceiling, but I know that's not what he's looking at. He's imagining where Newt would be. I instinctively raise my head with him.

After a couple of seconds, I look back at Thomas, the tears staining rivers down his cheeks. I wrap my arms around his neck in an embrace. I knew Newt cared about me but never realised he cared that much. It makes my heart ache more, knowing he's gone before we even had our chance at a new life together.

All night, my heart has been breaking over and over again. I want to wake up from this nightmare. But I know I won't. I am awake, and it's the worst feeling in the world. Whenever I think I have shed all the tears I have, more keep coming.

Eventually, I notice that my tears have slowed down. I muster the courage to look at my father, and another pang hits my chest. 'It was for the best,' I think, but I know I'm only trying to convince myself. He was my dad, and I killed him!

I don't get to wallow in my thoughts for long before I hear something at the end of the hallway. I snap my head to where the sound came from, and Thomas does the same. Thomas carefully moves me off his lap and stands up. He picks up Janson's gun, which I dropped almost immediately after the shot went off. I couldn't keep holding it.

Thomas cocks it and prepares to aim when a figure runs around the corner. He points the gun at them, ready to shoot, when he tilts his head, confused. "Teresa?" He lowers the gun, decocks it, and shoves it into the waistband of his pants.

She skids to a stop, looking between me, Thomas, and Janson on the floor. "What are you still doing here? Haven't you heard the explosions?"

Thomas and I look at each other, not understanding what she's talking about. He's about to respond when more thunder sounds, closer than before. That's when it clicks. It's not thunder at all. "Lawrence," Thomas says matter-of-factly, shaking his head. "It has to be him."

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