Cassie // Mitchel Cave

13

Mitchel's POV
[1st Person]

Cassie and I have been sitting in silence for the past five minutes.
Right after Kras, fully stoned, left the room, it was quiet. So quiet, I could hear water drops falling from the half-broken sink.

"I can sleep on the floor, you know," I finally muttered. For a second, she just stared at me, like she was debating whether or not I meant whatever I just said. Then, she laughed, a laugh that reached her eyes, eyes I couldn't stop staring into, and the only source of light was the moon that lit up her face softly, making the moment even more magical.

It was sickening how badly I craved her. Every time she left, she was all I'd think about, and when I was with her, she was the only person in the room. She was the only person in a room I'd search for, with only her light blue eyes, so bright they could blind a person, and I'd let myself get blinded by them.

She put her hands on my face, and to make me look at her, I must've zoned out, "There's no way. We've shared a bed before, Mitchel. And that's not even the problem; I've just been lost in my thoughts, that's all." Then, all of a sudden, she pulled her hands away from my face as if getting an electric shock.

Then she stood up and walked over to the only window in the room, opening it and lighting up a cigarette. She nodded at me, and I walked over to her, leaning against the opposite window frame.

She held the cigarette out to me, and I took it, placing it in my mouth and inhaling.
I gave it back to her.

"Why me?" I asked, and she shook her head and blew the smoke out into the night, laughing slightly.
She handed it back to me before answering. "I don't know; I guess I thought you were too cute to fuck up my chance." She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes this time. It wasn't the truth, but I figured she didn't want to talk about it.

"Have you.." she started, battling with herself before continuing, "Have you ever been in a serious relationship?" Her eyes met the dark sky, not mine.

"Not really, I guess, just high school things. What about you?" I ask and take the cigarette out of her hand.

"Once." I wait for her to go on, "Uhm, I've had a girlfriend, she was my everything. I technically worshipped her. I was blindly in love, and she was the most popular girl in our school. I should have known better, but I felt so high when I was with her, like I was constantly on drugs, I guess." She took a deep breath, and I handed her back the cigarette while nodding.

"I would have done everything for her. It was weird, being the loved one; I've never really felt that way, and I've never loved someone so deeply before." Cassie clears her throat. "She cheated on me with a guy a grade above us. But I wasn't ready to admit that. I was.." She stops short. "This is wrong, Mitchel. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be telling you this- I-" She chokes out a strained laugh.

And then I cupped her face, scared to lose her, scared that she'd back out, and scared of the fact that we might never talk like this again.

She shivers under my touch but looks back into my eyes, those ocean blue eyes clashing with mine, and in this moment I ask myself why I ever bothered to look into different ones.

"Talk to me," please. The word almost tumbles past my lips, but I stop. I want her to talk. I need her to talk.
Something in me needs to hear her voice to be able to know she can trust me with this.
But she can't, she can't, this is all so wrong, and for a second, I'm scared she'll study my face close enough to see betrayal in them, to see me in them.

because I'm not trustworthy, but yet I'm led by selfishness, making her speak for me, making her lay herself in front of me though I am the one holding the knife.

Suddenly, the vulnerable girl in front of me smirks and looks up at me through her eyelashes, looking nothing like the person a minute ago.
I'm stunned by the mask she slips on and off so easily. How many of them are there? How many walls did she need to build in order to survive?

"You see," she whispers breathlessly, taking a step forward. Another step, and we'd be touching. I try to ignore the goosebumps daring to crawl their way over my arms as she begins to speak again.

"I don't like talking about my past, especially not about my exes with the one person I'd still like to get railed by," she eyes my lips carefully as if trying to burn the image of them in her brain.
I smile "Scared I'll back out, darling?"

She cocks her head to the side, slightly parting her lips as she spits out, "No, just amused, you thought I was being for real," and with that, she backs away from me, flicking the now fully burned down cigarette out the window and closing it.

With my mouth slightly ajar and my breath knocked out of my lungs, I watch how she slowly lets the thin blouse wrapped around her arms slide to the floor as she is making her way over to our bed, a bed we need to share tonight. I watch it drop before lazily letting my eyes make their way back up, devouring every single detail of what is in front of me before she turns around and makes my eyes meet hers.

"Like what you see, Cave?"

Yes, more than I care to admit, "I've seen better." I lie, liar, liar, liar.

She smirks and turns around, searching for something on top of the drawer. "You start playing with your rings when you lie, Cave."