Metamorphosis - An Irondad Fanfic

Chapter 7 - The Selection

"Insomniac Dude Bro, the calculations are complete," Friday chirped from the ceiling, her robotic voice full of human life. Heavy metal played in the background, as no one told her to turn it off, but she dimmed the noise so the two of them could converse.

Tony Stark groaned in frustration. He turned off the torch he held and carefully placed it in its cooling rack. "Friday, who authorized you to change my name?" He tore off his face shield, letting it clank on the floor, followed by his large, protective gloves. Tony rubbed a sweaty hand over his face and doused water over his head.

"That would be GGB, sir."

"GGB?"

"Gargantuan Gorgeous Barton," Friday elaborated. She almost sounded amused, watching from her camera eyes as Tony's nose wrinkled. It was easier to list off things Tony enjoyed, but amongst the list of things he didn't, Avengers messing with his tech was somewhere at the top.

"Change my name back and make his... Grouchy Grotesque Barton. But shorten it to GGB until he asks for an elaboration," Tony schemed, hoping Clint would try to show off in the near future. The possibilities, which he calculated in 0.2 seconds, were higher than usual, considering Avengers Tower would be welcoming an understudy.

About to suffocate in the heat of his lab, Tony told Friday to display the exam results on the big TV outside. He waited patiently for the high schools to send back the completed tests for a whole three days. Well, if he was being honest, Tony enjoyed being locked in his lab for three days. It was Pepper—CEO of Stark Industries and girlfriend of Tony Stark—who waited patiently.

She was the one on his ass since his public opinion rating started plummeting. After being in a very open conflict with Captain America, multiple known assassins' addition to the Avengers, and other poor business decisions, Iron Man wasn't the most beloved superhero at the moment. And Tony Stark was never really the most loved man, but recently he's reached a whole new low with the press.

Lazy, egotistical, narcissistic, morally flawed, and self-centered, that's what they called him. Tony regretted admitting they weren't wrong. He was working on it. It was just... hard to when his lab was so so comfortable.

Pulling himself out of self-loathing, Tony flopped down on the large, plush couch. He watched Friday compile all serious candidates on the big screen, flipping through them like a slideshow. Tony knew he should be serious. Pepper wanted him to be serious about this, this intern could either save him from further public trials or completely sink him. He should be serious.

But god, nitpicking was what he was good at. Tony groaned and clung to his scalp, shutting his eyes tight. Why was this so difficult?! He had to be serious! But that kid looked like he had fatal levels of BO, another's hair was too similar to Steve's, and the third looked just plain weird. He had to be serious; Pepper was counting on him, but he...

Tony groaned. He needed help. "Friday, I need Natasha."

After a brief silence, Friday chimed, "Venomous Spider is on her way."

"Who changed that one?"

"You know who, sir."

"Barton," he sighed.

A few minutes later, the elevator door pipped up and slid open. Natasha, Steve, and Bruce filtered into the room, the latter carrying a bowl of popcorn.

Tony frowned and eyed them suspiciously. "I didn't ask for the whole circus!"

"You didn't forbid it," Natasha quipped. She grabbed a pillow and gracefully placed herself to Tony's right.

Steve cautiously chose Tony's left. He didn't like unresolved conflicts, but with Bucky holed up on his floor, he hadn't apologized to Tony yet. Between trying to be there for his best friend—behind a wall—and bargaining with Nick Fury, there just wasn't enough time. "So what are we up to?"