Astarion x M!Reader

Twenty-Four

The sight of the flowers swaying gently in the wind burned on your soul. You had avoided this place for far too long, hoping it would wither and leave only a ruin behind.

But it wouldn't. Of course not, after all, you had made sure that it would last for all eternity. Or at least until you die.

"Even if you don't want to believe it, or can't, but Cazador and I were once... friends. Close friends.", tears burned in the corners of your eyes but you refused to shed them. "We came from the same gutter, fought the same battle for survival."

Astarion shifted in his seat. His lips curled and his brow furrowed, he didn't seem to know how to respond.

"You are nothing alike.", he finally said with hesitation in his voice.

You smiled. It was obvious that you remembered him a little too much of his master. And you couldn't blame him. In the end you and him had been born from the same blood.

"Did he ever tell you how he became a vampire lord?"

He shook his head, placed his feet on the bench and rested his chin on his knees.

"Vampires... they are made.", you said and there was so much intelligence in his words, so much wisdom that reached far beyond a few well spoken sentences. "We're sterile."

You hummed.

"To create offspring we sire spawns.", your eyes jumped over your shoulder to catch a glimpse of his reaction.

"Like me."

Again, a cold nights breeze chased through the ravine and the roses answered with a song of hate and thorns. Their sweet scent clouded your mind and threw you right back into the darkness.

Your hand came to rest on one of the stones pillars. You needed to hold onto something, to remind you that this was reality and you weren't dreaming.

Could nightmares last forever?

"Sometimes we offer escapes from the cruelty of this world to convince others to bind themselves to us.", you continued, ignoring the shame that tied your throat. "We do it to save their lives from diseases. Old age. It doesn't matter, for the rules that bind every mortal alike don't apply to us."

"Time.", Astarion sounded bitter.

You smiled. Just how bright he was. Even though fear chained his potential he still managed to pick things up so fast, to learn and adapt.

It probably was a survival instinct and yet. It made him such a valuable asset.

Now you could see why Cazador had taken such a liking to him. And why he had raged so greatly after you had tricked him in his own ignorant game.

"We once were just like those who we trick now. Suffering, in pain and struggling to survive. Cazador...", you frowned trying to dig in the dark of your mind. "I don't remember his name. He used to be called something softer. I remember I liked to call him by his name."

Again, Astarion shifted and it seemed like he grew restless. It was hard to tell why exactly but you could imagine he wasn't rather pleased to hear all these things about his master.

Once he had to go back that knowledge could be turned against him. And once more you found yourself thinking that you wouldn't return him.

Even though he would never be yours, fully, you couldn't imagine handing him back over to that creature that once had held your hand as a fever had turned your mind against yourself.

"Platinum.", his voice was but a whisper.

You turned to look at him, small blossoms of the roses danced in the wind as another breeze made the roses down below bend to its will.

"You ask yourself why I'm telling you this.", you smiled.

His eyes avoided you. There was a faint shimmer visible on that pale face of his, a little reddish. He grew healthier by the minute.

A relief to your conscience.

"All of these things will not save me from him.", he said, his teeth clenched.

There it was again, that anger that overcame him whenever he felt like he wasn't being watched. Oh, how much he loathed that man, that monster he had turned out to be.

You could tell that he hadn't been warned from the beginning. Otherwise his choice might have been different. Cazador had charmed him in all the ways possible.

"It won't save you.", you agreed and let your back rest against the pillar behind you. "But it will make you understand that you won't have to fear me the way you fear him."

"I don't fear you!", he was surprised himself how fast it slipped off his tongue. "Well I- it's just that... I don't fear you for your cruelty. I fear you... for your kindness."

Guilt. So much guilt on his face. It wasn't right that a man could feel this guilty for something so normal.

"I know how you feel.", you said. "Cazador and I were turned by Vellioth the Martinet. He used to be kind but changed quickly after we were his. Cazador protected me and in return I protected him."

"I hardly believe he could ever be trusted.", that was the first time he said something from the bottom of his heart without fearing the consequences.

You smiled, pleased that he found comfort in your presence and trust in himself.

"He used to be lovely.", the smile on your face faded and darkness fell. "He planned on killing Vellioth. To protect us."

He succeeded.

"Yes. But I misjudged just how much Vellioth's cruelty had influenced him. He struck me down in our own bed and left me to die. I was saved by one of our masters whims and he gave me his blood. I became a vampire lord. Cazador only managed to overpower him because he was weakened from saving me."

Red eyes lay on you. There no judgement in them, but interest.

"You didn't choose to become a lord?", his head tilted to the side, strands of white hugged his face.

"No.", you almost had to laugh. "I hoped Cazador would take his place and be better... We could be better. But instead he because just like Vellioth the Martinet. Worse."

Without thinking about it your hand reached down to press onto the spot where the scar slumbered. It felt like it was blessing again.

And you felt like you had once more been betrayed by Cazador. But this time not because he had taken something from you.

No, this time he had given.

Astarion.