Astarion x M!Reader

Forty (Smut)

Your eyes were heavy as he leaned over you, an expression in his eyes that was difficult to interpret.

On the one hand, there was this desire, the wish to be touched without having to worry that it would leave marks. On the other hand, he wanted it to hurt because he wasn't used to anything else.

Or perhaps because pain from your hand was different to the pain he had had to endure all those years before.

A soft breath rolled from his parted lips. They were so close that you thought you could already taste it. To be closer to you, he slid a little higher. His pelvis rubbed against yours.

Your muscles tensed.

Fingers dug into his hips to keep him where he was. Further away from you. He absolutely had to stay far away.

Self-control wrestled inside you with the desire to pull him into your arms and never let go. If it had been possible to devour him completely and utterly without killing him, you would have done it.

"Astarion.", you whispered and the word bounced off his lips that were so close.

He shook his head, his gaze fixed on your lips. It followed the movement as you swallowed, down your throat and to your chest where he slowly pressed his ear to your (S/C) skin.

Again, a slight breath escaped him. This time it resembled a sigh.

"It beats so slowly.", he murmured as fingers traced circles over your collarbone.

You could feel warmth creeping up between your thighs. A twitch made you inhale sharply. He smiled.

"I can feel you.", his pelvis suddenly pressed against yours and you realised he was already starting to swell.

Your cock responded to the pressure, pressing against his and following suit to grow.

It had been a while since your flesh had gone weak but you could still remember the feeling. This wasn't the same. It felt different, deeper. It wasn't just lust that made you lose your mind.

No, you desired him fully and completely. You wanted to cover his body with kisses, drive your nails into his back and then drive away his tears with pleasure.

You wanted to hear him call your name, not out of lust but because it was your name, your body that made him feel better, your mouth that would take his breath away.

You wanted him. Maybe you had even learnt to love him. What a cruel thought. And yet. Your self-control faltered.

"Astarion.", you had to swallow hard, his name was like melting sugar on your tongue.

It clouded your mind.

He exhaled deeply as he lifted his head, sliding further forward to compensate for the size difference between you. His crotch rubbed against yours again.

This time he was noticeably harder.

Just the thought of how he could squirm under you, no, on you, made your dick grow fully hard too. The wet tip pressed against your stomach. His was almost at the same height, nestled against yours and only caused more friction.

How much of a torture this was. It made your throat go dry and your mind turn blank.

His lips were on yours. They were soft.

Of course, what else did you expect?

He tasted of blood and buttery vegetables, a hint of spice on his tongue as he brushed the tip over your lips. Rosemary and mint dug into your flesh.

A shuddering breath escaped you. You didn't kiss him back, not yet. But there were so many cracks in your self-control, so much shame at how weak he made you.

"Astarion.", this time you managed to speak with a firmer voice.

Still, it was little more than a whisper, a breath that carried his name and barely caressed his pointed ears. Disappointment flickered in his eyes as he pulled back.

"Why don't you want me?", there was honest confusion on his handsome face.

Never before had anyone turned him away, told him no or not wanted his body. You hated seeing that in his eyes. Nevertheless, you couldn't help but press your pelvis further into his. You wanted to feel him on top of you, his warm, twitching flesh against yours.

"I want you.", it came heavily from your lips as you lifted your hands to cup his face. "But not like this. Not as his slave."

Something inside him moved.

"Nobody wants the free man.", he finally said.

You kissed a tear from his cheek.

"Then I'm proud to be the first."

"The only one."

"Would you hate that?"

His arms snaked around your neck and he pressed himself tightly against you. He trembled briefly, a spark of insecurity returning. Then he suddenly looked up, took a deep breath and gave in to the sweet temptation to trust again.

All at once, his lips were on your neck, one hand buried in your (H/C) hair and he breathed every breath against your sensitive skin.

Trembling, you tilted your head back, your hands finding his bum to grip tightly.

"Platinum!", he gasped as two of your fingers slipped under the waistband of his underwear and began to trace circles over the taut skin.

"Do not be afraid.", you turned your head to kiss him. "Your command is my prayer."

He kissed you. Again and again his lips were on yours, first gently, then hungrily and finally full of desperation. Saliva dripped from the corner of his mouth as you slipped your tongue between them and he willingly let you in.

The inside of his mouth was warm. It still tasted a little like iron. And yet there was always rosemary and mint.

You greedily sucked in the air as he sat on you, right in your lap and began to grind his hips a little. Your fingers tightened and dug red crescents into the soft flesh of his cheeks.

He whimpered into your mouth as you returned the pressure and the tips of your cocks rubbed against each other, still covered by the fabric of underwear. But there was already a dampness spreading, sign that both of you were slaves to each other.

"Astarion.", you breathed against his lips, two fingers already playing at his entrance.

A light pink glow had spread across his face, his eyes had become heavy.

Red like blood. Red like the love and desire that raged in your chest.

"Be careful.", he whispered and bit his bottom lip. "I don't like pain. Not this one."