24. I caused no harm... why me?

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I knew it

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I knew it... They must be dating till now. They are the hot topic to discuss in the whole college, and the only thing I could hear from everyone since I entered the building.

I feel like, in a way it's good. Jeongguk should be with someone who will stay with him forever, not someone who is going to die soon... He wouldn't even want to look at me once I start losing my hair due to chemo. Heck, even I dread to look at myself in the mirror now, because all I see is a weak, thin and pale body. A sick person who has only few months left to live...

Dad had a meeting with the Dean this morning and now my teachers know about my health condition. With special request none of the students know about it. It's already awful to be seen as a pitiful object by my teachers in the class. I don't want that by the whole college. I want to live my last few moments here like a normal, healthy student...

After so much exhaustion, I reach the cafeteria and serve myself food. One thing about chemo is that it makes you tired easily and I am still not habitual to it...

I see nobody came till now, so I slowly sit at the table and keep my head down on the table as it hurts. Everything hurts but now no tears were left to cry in me. Crying also makes me so exhausted that most of the time I faint. So I just fold my hands into fists and bear the pain.

"Taehyung. You are finally here." I look up hearing his voice. Yoongi hyung stood there smiling with Hobi hyung beside him.

"Yeah" I say, more like a whisper.

"How are you feeling now Tae?" Hobi hyung asks taking a seat beside me. Usually, Jeongguk sits there but... anyways. I sigh and say, "good" No... I feel awful and broken...

They both nod and then I hear, "I am sorry, did I make you wait for long Taehyungie?" Jimin catches his breathe and sits beside me. He looked so worried, making me want to hug him so tightly. He didn't want to leave my side even a bit in college but our schedules didn't match and he couldn't miss on his studies because of me...

I smile putting my hand on his and say, "No... I am fine" We look at each other and nod. We start eating. But after few minutes,

"Ohhh JK is heree" Hobi hyung says excited. My eyes shift to the duo that was coming towards the table. They walk looking perfect together. My face morphs into sadness, when I see people admiring them. It was even tiring to hide the sadness now.

I wish I was the one with him and everyone loved us together.

I turn my head to not look at them and stare at the table top instead. I have all the rights to not make myself sad... So I focus on the tasteless food in my plate. My weak hands couldn't even handle the weight of a spoon, and it falls as soon as I hold it.

Sighing I lean down to pick it up, but a hand already reaches for it before mine. My vision shifts upwards and I see it was Jeongguk, who was now looking right into my wide eyes. It happens always, he looks at me and it stops time. And I wish it actually happened, because then in that moment it would just be me and him and there would be no worries of the world or any disease in me... Just me and him together for eternity.

Ditto - TKWhere stories live. Discover now