Shattered

The last day

A/n Do you like Bapa or Chiles better?
___

"Do you want to die?"
Was what he asked me

it's about midnight, Bose dropped me off about an hour ago. I think everyone was asleep because nobody yelled at me when I came inside.
I'm sitting in my room blasting music through my headphones, trying to process everything that happened today.

He had asked me a simply yes or no question that I should've easily answered. But I couldn't because I don't even know the answer.

~~Flashback~~

We were sitting on the couch with dog batcher in the back ground. Bose laughed at something that happened, I laughed as well pretending to pay attention.

I felt my phone vibrate and I pulled it out to see who messaged me
It was our group chat disincluded Ray

Mika💨: why are both of you skipping

" hey Mika texting us" I tell Bose. He pulls out his phone looks at the chat

"What do you wanna tell them?" He asks

Instead of giving an answer, I start typing

Chapa🔥: we didn't feel like going

" think that will work?" I ask. "Yeah, most likely"

I watched as Bose fiddles with his hands and bites his lip. I know he has a lot of questions but I've been avoiding them, Watching dog bachelor was my idea because I was hoping it would distract him for a couple of hours.

I do feel bad though. Bringing him into all of this, he really doesn't need to focus on me right now I can't believe the things I already told him. I can tell he's really nervous.

"Bose you ok"

He looks at me with worry in his eyes

" can I ask you something" he asks

I nod

" do you want to die Chapa"

"That caught me off guard, nobody has ever asked me that before.

I'm not really sure how to answer that. I begin to stutter trying to find the right words.  " not exactly I guess"

"What do you mean you guess! Chapa that's not an answer" I can't tell if he's mad at me or not. I've never had to explain how I feel to someone, this is all new and really scary

"Well.. Ive thought about what would happen if I died, sometimes I wonder what the point of me being alive is. I've never planned on killing myself Bose I promise
I just wonder if anyone would actually miss me if I was gone."

After I say that Bose grabs my hand, and with the other gently places it on my arm
It looks like he's gonna to cry

" I would Chapa. Mika would, Miles would, Ray would, ur family, everyone who knows you would."

"Yes I'm aware of that but-"  Bose cuts me off

"No I don't think you are!" He raises his voice slightly.

"You are one of the reasons being in Danger Force is so fun, you make everyday better just by being around, your attitude, you don't take shit from other people, your whole personality just makes the day better. I know you said you never plan on doing anything but if you do, if you even think about for a second. Tell me. Ok?" Boses voice cracked as he spoke