Silver Dawning

Roller-coaster of Emotions

Dawson POV:

     I hadn't heard from Aspen since he left this morning, but ever since that kiss I have been on cloud nine. When Aspen brought me home, he followed through with his promise of taking away all my sharp objects. I wasn't quite ready to give them up yet though.

     "Dawson it's time to go!" I hear my mom call from downstairs. I get up going downstairs.

     "Where are we going?" I asked not remembering any plans for today, especially with me being grounded still.

     "We're going to your mental and physical checkup that you need to get done before you test into your classification." She says pushing me out the door. Rolling my eyes I get into the car; I really didn't feel like doing this right now. Throughout the ride there was no talking, the atmosphere being tense as I was still mad at her and refused to be the one to intimate conversation first. We pull up to our personal doctor's clinic and arrive inside the building.

     Dr. Hendriks starts out doing lots of testing for the physical aspect of the checkup. Testing my sight, hearing, reaction time, and weight. "It looks like Dawson has lost some weight from the last time he was in here, keep an eye on that he is at a healthy weight currently and if he is eating properly there is no reason for weight loss." My mom just nods her head barely even looking up from her phone.

     "Okay Dawson we are just going to go to a separate room to do the psych evaluation with a psychiatrist." I get up and follow him into a new room looking around my surroundings, this room is so much cozier than a doctor's office. It had carpet and couches with stuff animals and calming essential oils. Walking into the room I felt relaxed immediately, I sit on the coach across from a new doctor, whom I think is the psychiatrist. She had this calming aura around her, and she just looked very gently in nature.

     She asked me lots of questions but there was one topic she just couldn't get off of. "So would you say that recently you have developed any strange behaviors or just don't feel like yourself?"

     "I mean I don't think so, I have always been known to have intense mood swings depending on the week. I guess that the only big changes recently is that I have been shopping a lot more than usual and been having sex and using substances a lot more than I use to." I reply as I watch her scribble things down on her notepad.

     "How much money would you say you've been spending? Would you say oh just here or there for something that you really want or need, or would you say you've been buying things that are considered expensive, and throwing it around carelessly?"

     "I don't think it would be careless, I mean I only spent about 3,000 dollars on my last shopping haul, and I guess I didn't really need the stuff it just felt super exhilarating." The doctor only nods.

     "During your last shopping excursion did you feel any way before or after, or did you have any new ideas appear?"

     "Well, the day before I had been super depressed almost to the point of just feeling completely numb. Then that night I couldn't sleep but for some reason I felt the most rested I had ever felt before! I had so much energy and did some shopping. I discovered I was addicted to water and got the superpower off flight, but before getting to test that newfound power my friend interrupted my fun." She finishes her notes and leads me out into the waiting room saying she needed to interview my mom about a couple things.

     It felt like hours of waiting before both the doctors and my mother came out. They waited for her to be seated next to me before the psychiatrist began to speak. "For the most part Dawson's physical state looks well, just need to keep an eye on the eating. What we want to talk about is Dawson's mental state. We are diagnosing Dawson with type one bipolar disorder." I see my mom's head snap in shock, and honestly, I felt the same way.

     "Were keeping that off his record, nobody needs to know. I'll get the medication or whatever the heck he needs, but we don't need the whole world knowing that he is mentally incapable." The doctors looked like they wanted to say something but just nodded their heads.

     "We are prescribing him a 600mg dose of Lithium, if this doesn't help come back in and we can try upping the dosage or changing to another medication." The doctors talk with my mom while I tune them out. How the heck could this happen? Just another thing gone wrong in my life where I will be criticized for not being good enough. After the doctors finish telling my mom that the medication will be delivered later tonight and to make sure I am taking it on a regular schedule. As we pull into our driveway, I see Beau and Phillip; Aspen's Dads. As I studied them it seemed they were crying. As soon as my mom pulled the car to a stop, I raced over to them to see what was happening. They turned to look at me bursting out to tears again.

     "What's the matter?" I asked very worriedly

     "It's Aspen, on his way to school there was a severe accident, and his body was nowhere to be found. Police say that he probably disintegrated in the fire that was caused by the accident." Phillip stumbles through his sentence taking deep breaths in between words.

     "We should've gone with him, shouldn't have let his anger at us keep us from going. Why did we decide to give him some space." Beau bawled into his husband's arms. It took me a minute to process all this information, what did they mean Aspen was gone? We had just spent the day together yesterday; he had just taken my first kiss. I fell to my knees and curled into a ball, rocking myself and crying. I could see my mom comforting Aspen's dads and I felt myself being lifted into one of my siblings' arms.

     I felt so numb and distraught as the months passed by, I had stopped eating to the point where Kye had to fight me and shove food down my throat. I had also been prescribed lamotrigine on top of my already existing medication. I had also reintroduced sharp objects into my daily routine.

     "Aspen, there's no way you're gone right? You can't be, you're my only friend we promised, remember? I still believe you're out there; the police never found a body I don't care if your parents already threw you a funeral." I found myself talking to the earring Aspen had gotten me just waiting and wanting a response back.

     "Dawson you need to come out, you already have gone over the two months after your birthday to get tested, and if you waited any longer the police are going to get involved."

     "Go away Kye, you just don't the family reputation smeared like everyone else in this God damn family." I could to I hurt him by the sigh he let out. My head perked up when I heard my door open.

     "Dawson there are literally police here to escort you to the testing center, so we can either do this the easy way where you go to the car on your own free will without a police escort, or we could do this the hard way where Davian comes in and forcefully removes you from your room and the police escort you to get you classification." I just lay back down in my bed ignoring him. I hear leave and then come back with someone else. I'm thrown over Davian's shoulder,

     "Put my down, leave me alone I don't want to go anywhere.!!!!" I scream and start to bawl my eyes out as we exited my room. When we arrive to the car I'm buckled into the back seat. I pull my knees into my chest and continue to cry.

     "Sorry little dude, I didn't have a choice we all could have gotten in major trouble with the law if you didn't go and get this done today." Davian said ruffle my hair, I just shrank further into myself. I hear the family sigh as they all get into the car and soon, we are off to the testing center with a flashy police escort.