Blind To Tears | jenlisa (ON HOLD)

Chapter 5

LISA

Seoul August 2022

The death.

Death... it leaves dirt behind. It cleanses the suffering souls and pollutes the living bodies. It is sophisticated. Its cold leaves bitter goosebumps and its quick-wittedness leaves you speechless. It is the enemy of humans and the saviour of souls. It hurts you, tears you to pieces and then vanishes into thin air. Death is the walking oblivion that challenges you to remember. We humans fear death, although our souls long for it. They want to complete their task successfully and finally find paradise. It's a very simple concept and yet a topic that people hide from.

I blink slowly. Death takes away your joy. It steals your happiness and banishes it to sorrow. Sorrow that such a weak heart barely survives. It is death that lies like a dark shadow over our beating hearts. We humans will never understand it. Some respect death and others despise death. It doesn't change anything, it comes to visit us like an old friend. It visited her. Although in my opinion it was too early. My watery eyes watch the frames of the two pictures. They wander over the woman's innocent eyes, her big smile and her brown hair.

Choi Hana. Born: 1999, Died: 2022.

I narrow my eyes and run my fingers over my bare arms. She was the woman who prayed. The one who was shot.

"She was younger than me." I murmur to myself. There are lots of candles and flowers around her picture. I also put a flower there. A white petunia. Next to her picture is that of the man.

Sebastian Brown. Born: 1981, Died: 2022.

Goosebumps cover my whole body. A shiver runs down my neck at the thought of reaching for the phone. Feelings of guilt arise at the thought of how I left the two of them behind. They couldn't even be buried. There is a white petunia next to him too.

How are other people doing? Do they have the same nightmares as me? The same feelings of guilt, the same suffering? Or is it just my soul crying for that of the redeemed?

My thoughts wander to sweet Lili. An unfathomable, horrible experience for someone as young as her. I hope Jennie takes care of her. I bite my lip in thought. Jennie. She seemed so hated. So bitter and... desperate. I don't know what happened to her, however I was convinced that accepting the role of mother was a step in the right direction. Seeing her again was unexpected and then even under these circumstances. Sana insists it is fate. But I don't believe that. It was an ironic coincidence. To bring a woman back her child safely that I couldn't give one to, how ironic.

"I tell you, it's fate! You do not believe me? Then I'll even find a scientific explanation for it!"

A small smile comes to my lips. It's her way of distracting me from my tragedy. I'm grateful for it, but I still feel misunderstood when I'm around her on this topic. In some ways, at moments she reminds me of Yuta.

Yuta. After Jennie confirmed my premonition, I cried for hours afterwards. Any other person would call me ridiculous, but I couldn't help it. He was so young and he was robbed of the chance to watch as his daughter grows up to be a woman. He had made a terrible mistake... he had betrayed me. But he didn't deserve to die for that. I forgave him years ago. There is no room in my heart for hate, which drowns me in only bitterness.

"Lisa?" My head snaps to the side and I freeze for a brief moment. I don't believe it! My eyes widen and my mouth opens slightly. The young man in front of me scratches his neck lightly and smiles at me. A big smile comes to my lips.

"Daniel!" I squeal quietly in delight. I let my eyes slide over his appearance and my eyes open again. His light brown curly hair stands out in definition and his light brown eyes shine in the sun. I run my hands over my arms. He wears a black cassock with a white collar. He also wears black patent leather shoes.