'Gotta Catch 'Em All

Chapter 1

NOTES: Gojo Satoru is a character from a different anime who can do 'Domain Expansion' (transport him and his opponent into a void where they can't move, basically) and has a power called 'infinity' that creates an impenetrable barrier around his body.

This wasn't fair, Midoriya thought to himself later. All I want to do is have hot gay sex with my super attractive hot and muscular new boyfriend but because of our quirks... this is all so frustrating! He gripped his pillow tighter and tried to force his mind to sleep, but nothing was working. Both sides of his pillow were warm. Gosh dang it!

Todoroki rolled over to face Deku.

"One side of my pillow is always cold."

Oh shoot, I said that part aloud!?

"You said all of the parts aloud, Izuku." He sighed before looking deeply into Midoriya's wide eyes. "I can see - and hear - that there's something on your mind. Is it about what happened earlier?"

"H-how did you know about that!?" Midoriya freezed as panic flashed through his limbs.

"I was there."

"Oh, right...." As he remembers, Midoriya thinks he can recall the third sitting in the corner. He must have blended in with all of my life-sized cardboard cutouts of All Might.

Todoroki rolled back over, closing his eyes.

"W-wait, Todoroki-onii-senpai-chan! Do you know a way that I can have hot gay sex with my twink boyfriend-san?" He sat up as a glimmer of hope shone in his eyes.

"Yeah. Talk to Satoru Gojo."

Gojo... the name did sound familiar. Oh right! The guy who lived in the attic of U.A. High School! He knew a way that Deku and Bakugo could fuck without recreating that one fateful day? He flopped back down on his back and stared up at the ceiling, lost in thought. He really was overheating as his mind went into overdrive. I wonder if Gojo really does know the method...

Todoroki groaned (non-sexually) and froze their entire crib-sized mattress.

"Go to sleep Midoriya."

Finally. His pillow was cold.

-------

Midoriya did the 👉👈 motion with his hands, knees quite literally quaking as he looked everywhere except the eyes of the man standing across from him in the dank attic of UA. Smoke from a phat wizard shadow omicron blunt (limited edition fortnite cart griddy edition) wafted through the air. He mentally prepared himself for what he was about to ask. Well, no time like the present...

"So, uhh, Gojo. Can you do a domain expansion in someone's ass?"

The sorcerer grinned.

"Oh yeah, sure. There's a technique for that, it's called 'Infinite Backshots, but you have to know reversed cursed technique to withstand it.", he giggled a little and did a little dance. "You think you could handle something like that?" The white-haired man wiggled his eyebrows tauntingly.

"H- huh!?? No! It's not for me, I'm asking for a friend! He wants me to finger him but he's worried that nitroglycerin will get everywhere... and we don't want a repeat of Building 7!" His hands twitched with a mind of their own. Useless hands. "It's just- we thought that if you can freeze time right as he comes, then he won't blow anything up, which would be really nice." Gah, this is so awkward to say!

"Aww, that's so cute!" Gojo smirked and ruffled Midoriya's hair affectionately. "I'll tell you what. I can teach you domain expansion. You can actually learn infinite void yourself! I mean, infinity would be much more practical since you could just keep it on constantly, but I suppose you would still blow everything else up. But, yeah, I got nothing better to do. Might as well show you!"

"R-really?" Midoriya could hardly believe his ears.

"Sure, you just have to do something for me in return." He smiled like a Cheshire cat, and immediately disappeared.

"G-gojo?"

The room was silent.

Midoriya looked around, trying to listen for any movements that might indicate where the other man went. He didn't know the man had an invisibility quirk! He assumed a fighting stance, waiting for any sudden-

Gojo reappeared with a bag of Blue Fuego Takis. He crunched loudly on one in his hand, blue powder falling to the floor around him. Then he pulled out another and smoked it.

"Relaaxxxxxx, green hair. I'm back. I just got hungry." He took another hit.

Midoriya just stared with his jaw on the floor.

"H-how did you- your quirk?"

"I don't have a quirk, silly, I'm from Jujutsu Kaisen." He lit another taki and hit both at once. "Want a taki? They're multipurpose."

"Uhh, no thanks." Midoriya said lamely.

"Your loss. Anyways, I'm gonna be busy for the rest of the day. Got shit to do." Gojo fell back into his Hello Kitty-themed hammock hanging from the rafters. He pulled out his iPad.

"Anyways, since you wanna learn Infinite Bac- I mean Infinite Void. Actually, who am I kidding, it's just Infinite Backshots. Right, Trashcan?"

"I-", Midoriya stuttered.

"Yes, Master.", uttered the trashcan in the far corner of the room, voice filled with unimaginable despair obtained from the most harrowing tribulations a being could undergo. The darkness of the corner swallowed its form again.

"So, like I said," Gojo continued. "I'll teach you tomorrow. Preferably before 4:20 pm. Just go pick up a package from the pizza place downtown. Tell 'em Satoru sent you. They'll understand."

Midoriya nodded before turning around, climbing down from the attic, and using a 1,000,000% Delaware Detroit Smash on his frontal cranium.