'Gotta Catch 'Em All

Chapter 8

ONE CONSIDERABLE TIME SKIP LATER

After their training arc of utter sexual emaciation and 24/7 gooning, Midoriya and his two queerplatonic fuck buddies had improved quite a lot. No longer did Bakugo fear premature ejaculation, and no longer did Midoriya feel the need to shoot testosterone viagra directly into his bloodstream like the homeless taking fentanyl in the streets of Philadelphia. Todoroki, as normal, was just simply good at sex. Now, it was time for them to revel in the fruits of their success. The three took a knee (a singular knee, which is distinguishable from when one gets down on two knees to wreck the shit out of someone else's cock) on the podium.

"I hereby knight thee," Said Donald Jaquavion Trump, "Voltron, Defenders of the Universe."

Midoriya closed his eyes. While he was very happy to be recognized for his #1 Hero talents, it was pretty exhausting to stay closeted in the public eye. He could feel his thighs quivering just thinking about the two bangable boy-pussy breeders next to him. Luckily, his jelqing hadn't been for nothing. He had been carrying a full erection around for the past few months, so by now the public assumed that he was packing that much dick on the daily.

As the President of the United States began to commence the Dance of Knightation, Todoroki leaned over to whisper in Midoriya's ear.

"I can't wait to slurp on that shit after."

Midoriya blushed. If he was put in this position last year, he would have been bussin on the mic like dreamybull after a $100 tiktok live donation. Feeling bold, he leaned back to reply to Todoroki, strands of hair brushing sensually.

"And I'm gonna give you so many hickies you look like William Afton."

Todoroki smiled. He was proud of his boyfriend for spitting absolute game so effortlessly. It was a far cry from the insecure teen he once was. Of course, Deku would always remain his shy, adorable self. But he felt more comfortable unleashing some of his inner w rizz that was pushed so far down inside.

Meanwhile, Midoriya reflected on the events that transpired leading to this day.

Oh wow, we've progressed so much since that one day at McDonalds. Before we were simply weak, omega kitten incels. Now we've ascended to become Obamas in the streets and Osamas in the sheets. Well, we're Osamas in the streets as well, but the public never needs to know about that.

Bakugo flicked his arm.

"You're talking out loud again you fucking freak."

Ah, the one habit Deku just couldn't seem to shake.

"S-sowwy," he whispered. "I'll stop. I don't want to admit that I'm an international terrorist while I'm being named the protector of the United States."

Bakugo shrugged.

"You're fine, shitty Deku." His sexy low raspy whisper voice only audible to the green-haired twink. "They would probably like that anyways. We'll be fine as long as you don't tell these assholes that you're queer-"

"QUEER!?" Donny's head snapped around like an owl to glare at them with glowing conservative eyes.

"I'm sorry oh great master!" Midoriya quickly recanted. "We were just joking around! We just can't stand the thought of those dirty little MLM penis goblins! Every time the thought of them invades my mind like the Jewish mind control lasers, I just have to speak my truth! Make America Great Again!"

"Good." Said the President. "The ceremony is complete. Now we must feast." He and the rest of the meek wrinkly raisin senators turned to the tables filled with baked beans, pork barbeque, and corn on the cob. There were no hot dogs available because the great bald eagle nation would never under any circumstance allow the international community to think that they were filthy f*gs.