Mine

3.

Tiana
Oct 25th 2009

It's been about three weeks since I've had that argument with Jermaine and me telling him I was done with him.

We haven't spoken to each other once since then.

I do him see sometimes I mean duhhh he lives right next to me.

Oh and the date with Daniel.....Let's just say never again. He started to cry about his ex to me when he got drunk...sooo moving on.

Right now I was applying my makeup  listening to rock the boat by Aaliyah while getting ready to meet with Alicia she came back yesterday after a long time because she had to go back home due to a family emergency. But I did have some really exciting news to tell her.

Hearing a knock on the door I quickly ran to the door opening it revealing Alicia.

She smiled wide before jumping into my arms. Ughhhh I missed her so much.

Putting her down she looked around at my almost empty place with a look of confusion.

"I'll explain at the restaurant" I said grabbing my purse and phone as we both went out the door.

"So just like that y'all done with each other?" Alicia asked in shock while sipping on her drink as I told everything that happened between me and Jermaine and how he started to change once he became more popular.

"Yeah it's like yeah I know fame changes you, but it's like he didn't give a fuck about me at all. He would always cancel our plans to get a piece of pussy and then wanted to come and lay up with me. It made me feel used in a way and even though we never admitted it to each other I know deep down we did have feelings for each other so that's the part that hurts most." I explained trying to hold back my emotions.

"Damn I'm sorry Tiana I'm always here for you girl" Alicia said while grabbing my hand.

"But I have a question that's been lingering in my mind since we got here. Why the fuck is all your shit packed in your place please don't tell me your leaving me" Alica asked in a whining tone.

I inhaled deeply before speaking "Okay so bad news....I am leaving. But good news is I got signed to Def Jam Recordings to make an album but it's all the way in L.A."

"Bitch Oh my god your fucking lying oh my god. I'm so proud of youuu this is something you've always wanted and you worked so hard for." Alicia said before coming around hugging me as I hugged her back.

"Wait so who signed you? Did you give your mixtapes out?"

"Do you know how sometimes I go to that pub on 120 st not too far from the College?" I asked as alica nodded her head.

"Well I was there and I was singing at the pub when it was open performances and after this dude came up to me and said he was a DJ and that he knew someone who could hook me up with a signed deal. I thought he was playing with me at first but then he told me how def jam recordings is looking for more female artists. So I met up with him the next day and gave him a tape that has the few songs I've been working on and 10 days ago I got a call that they liked them and they signed me" I finished explaining with a big smile on my face.

Alicia smiled back before hugging me again. "Even though your ass is leaving me I am very happy and excited for you and can't wait till your ass on billboards n shit Ima take selfies and be like YUPPP that's my frannnnn" she said making me bust out laughing at her silliness.

Oct 28th 2009

"And that's the last of it" I huffed out as I stood up straight putting my last box of stuff in the car. I looked over at Alicia seeing her hold back tears making me hold back my own.

"Girl don't cry you gonna make me cry" I said giving her a hug as Alica chuckled.

"I know I know I'm sorry its just I'm really gonna miss you. But you gotta go now so go I love you" Alicia said giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"I love you too" I said getting in the car as I put my seat belt on before driving off.

Here I come L.A.

Jermaine
later that night

sitting at the park not to far from the college I was trying to write down some lyrics but my mind kept going back to Tiana.

Fuck I missed her so much I wanted to apologize to her so bad but my ego got the best of me and I've never apologized for the things I've did to her.

And all the things she said about me she was absolutely right. I'm lost I'm just tryna fit into this new rapper life and shit. I'm tryna fit in with everyone in the industry, I'm forcing and pushing myself to be like all the other rappers.

Tiana saw right through me.

My dumbass really left her just to hang out with some niggas and hoes at a club?

Jermaine Lammar Cole what was you thinking.

Then my foul ass really went to her after fucking some hoes never thinking about how she would feel and only cared about myself.

And the crazy part is I knew we both had feelings for each other but I guess we both never really talked or fully acted on it.

Now I'm sitting here with so much regret doing that to one of the people I care about the most.

I need to go fix this shit right now.

Getting up from the bench I made my way back towards the college, my legs taking me right to her dorm. Knocking on the door I didn't hear a response.

I knocked again just to make sure and still no response.

Huffing I stepped back disappointed in my self I should've done this 3 weeks ago.

I was about to walk back to my dorm until I saw Tianas friend Alicia making me go up to her.

"Yo yo Alicia do you know where Tiana is I tried knocking on her door but she's not answering is she out or sum" I asked as she looked at me with a stank face. I guess Tiana told her some things about me.

"Nah J Cole she gone she moved the fuck out" Alicia said before crossing her arms.

Moved out?? Nah she wouldn't leave without saying goodbye right?

"What you mean moved out Alica?"

"I mean she gone she got a good opportunity for something so she moved. Oh and by the way you lost someone really really good I hope you know that yellow skin nigga."She said before walking away.

When she said that I already had my phone in my hand as I called Tianas number that I knew by heart.

Putting the phone to my ear I heard one ring before it went straight to voicemail.

She blocked me.