I'm Just a Guy. Trans Peter Parker

Final Authors Note + Update

Wow. First and foremost, wow. I randomly open Wattpad throughout the years to see who this is doing, and everytime I'm in shock at the numbers on this book. My favorite thing is to read your comments and your stories. I'm so honored and happy this little book has been so meaningful to some of you. Thank you for reading it. You mean the world to me.

I started this when I was in the 6th grade, having a panic attack in my hotel room, with my mother sleeping in the corner. I didn't know what to do, so I sat in the bathroom corner and wrote. Everytime I found myself on the brink of another attack, I would hide away and write. Write this fictional story through my favorite characters, and reimagine myself living the dream life. A life I never thought I would have.

I graduate high school in 4 months. I'll be on testosterone for 4 years as of November 18. (Same as Peter). I'll be having Top Surgery in 5 months, and going to college in 7 months. While writing this book and going through my own transition, I've learned so much. That often, a parent's rejections isn't a rejection of you, but a rejection of losing the life they imagined. I saw that through my classmates and my self. My mother had a very hard time with me coming out.  I was too young to understand how frightening this was to her. She wasn't going to be like the fictional father Tony Stark I wrote, no. She was going to be a real person with emotions. While some parents may rejoice and throw confetti and not bat an eye, understand that is a small minority of people. I've learned to understand that my mother is human too. The same way I took me years to discover myself and come to term with it, I should allow her the same freedom to do so. Is it not rude to expect our parents to understand everything? I think it is. Why am I granted time to accept myself, but she isn't granted the same? My mother never cares for my sexuality, but with my gender she was more weary. However, I adore my mother. After months of processing and realizing there was some truth to my words, she bit the bullet and took me to therapists. We spent months together in therapy, she slowly became open to learning, and I allowed her the time to process. Thanks to that time, she had a moment to breath and mourn. Not mourn me, but the memories she will never have. She would never walk her daughter down her sweet 16 ballroom, never go wedding dress shopping, never braid my hair again and never steal my high heels again. And she's allowed that. She's allowed that moment.

I think a lot of us don't allow our parents that time. We should. And now, my mother is my biggest supporter. This woman fought to get me on medication. Fought for doctors to see me. Fought to have the court grant my changes. And she's the person who held me the tightest and prayed for me when I went off to military camp for the summer. She told me she didn't want people to see me differently and when I flew back home, she was so proud to call me her son. I owe my mother everything. She is not transphobic, and she was never transphobic. Transgender is not something she ever encountered before me, and allowing her to learn created a path to acceptance.

You can't force someone to accept you on the spot. It won't happen. So, allow them to learn. I learned about my identity through this book, and my mother learned at her own pace. In a perfect world, all parents would be like the ones in this book. However, we don't live in a perfect world. So, it's best to understand that we are all human.

Thank you for all your support. In a perfect world, I would be a writer. But, this world isn't perfect. However, I'll never stop writing and sharing these stories, because if they can help one person, I've done my job. I'm not active here. However, I am on Archive of our Own (AO3) under the username @keeners. You'll know it's me cause this story is also up there.

Take care of yourself. Love yourself. And remember, you matter to me. You made my life better.