Sean's Sacrifice

Eighteen

Truceson's POV

I had to figure this shit out and fast. 

I don't even know how I will but I knew I needed to. Well....want to. Sean is making me want a lot of things I didn't know I wanted. 

Like him.

A him to begin with. I never thought I'd ever be in a place in my life where I'd be admitting to myself that I....liked guys. 

Now here I was, on my way home to call off my engagement. It wasn't until I was driving myself home that I realized what this meant. I would lose my inheritance...maybe even my job. My status. My family. They'd most likely disown me and never speak to me again. I'd be left with nothing but my own money, which in the grand scheme of things...isn't bad. I had a nice amount saved and still to be earned with my own investments. 

But still...was I ready for something like that?

I told Sean I was...but was being hasty? Maybe I'm making a mistake, I don't even know if Sean and I are going to work out. 

But for some reason the thought of us not working out made my stomach churn. It made me want to throw up. I barely even know him and yet I can't get him out of my fucking head.

Now the question stands...did I think he was worth it? Worth everything so soon?

My immediate, unthought-of answer is yes.

But then my mind catches up and it changes to 'I don't know'.

We agreed to take things slow, which is great and it eased some part of me. Which meant I wouldn't have to just jump right into 'being gay' if that's a thing. I don't know. Maybe I should talk with Ana and see what that entails and what I should do...

Sean surely knows since his entire family seems to be gay. I feel a little out of my league here because of it. I'm usually the smartest in the room, but with Sean I feel...severely inexperienced. It's like I'll be starting all over again. Actually not 'like' I will be. I've never done anything with a guy ever...and now the thought of it is exciting but also terrifying.

I walked inside my house and there was music being played loudly from the kitchen. And almost all the big lights were on. That's how I knew Dae was here. I walked towards the music and I saw her in her usualy wear. White, hair pinned back, and lipstick. I wondered if she even had anything other than white. 

"Oh, Truceson, I wasn't expecting to see you until tomorrow." She turned and looked at me with a bright smile. Her eyes lit up and guilt hit me in the chest. 

"Yeah, I--there's something we need to talk about." I cleared my throat and she leaned over and paused her music on her phone. 

I turned away and walked to my living room and I looked over it. Everything was still in place, thankfully Dae hadn't started to renovate like how she wanted to. 

A new level of excitement hit me thinking about Sean coming in here and seeing my space. Would he like it? Would he want to change it too? 

"What's going on?" I motioned to the dark green leather couch across from me as she followed. She sat and crossed her legs and clasped her hands together. 

For some reason, I wasn't nervous at all. At least not anymore. The moment I saw her in the kitchen and heard her music, I couldn't help but have a part of me wish it was Sean here. That it was Sean in my kitchen, Sean playing my music. Sean having the big lights on. And that thought...didn't bother me at all.

"I don't know how to say this in a way that isn't...rude. I suppose." I sighed and pulled my eyes away from hers. "I--"

"I think I know..." Dae interrupted, "This isn't working for you is it?" I slowly nodded and forced myself to look at her.