#Traffick'd - S Z NFOUR

S Z NFOUR - Episode 1: Calm Before The Storm

"Okay, repeat it back to me."

I sighed and then chuckled, "You can make a right turn only on a red light, if there's no sign."

So I'm pretty sure the last time you and I spoke, I was being filled in by white girl Destiny. About one of Bam's bitches being problematic as fuck and problematic is me putting it nicely.

Just to catch you up, obviously I pressed him when he got back to the crib. But boy did I learn a lesson that night, pick and choose my battles. I asked him about the notes and his crazy bitch Paris and why she doesn't know I'm staying with him. He said and I quote "you think I got shit to hide from you? And about bitches, you can go in that shit right now I don't give a fuck. That's where the girls and I communicate about business. I am not Pablo." I mean, I had to hold it, what could I say to that? If they ever got caught, police are going to be looking in the messages and call logs, they aint checking no notes. Even if they wanted to, it's locked, he plays chess not checkers. He also said none of his bitches knew where he lived or who he lived with. Because it's not any of their businesses, I just wanted my ego inflated. Which I unfortunately had to agree with too.

Destiny stopped really fucking with me after that night, cause Bam told Biz she got loose lips. And Biz was happy as fuck to shut em for her. We don't link up anymore, unless the guys force us too.

Oh, but we definitely fought and fucked that night, thats for sure; I threatened to go and stayed. That was the beginning of my soliloquy of empty threats. I'd threaten to leave, he'd tell me "go i'm not stopping you, no charge, no anything". But it was really like reverse psychology, to tell a broken love junkie to go. Then my heart would be on my sleeve, and he'd see the pain he'd cause me in my eyes. Which would wound his masculine and ignite his "fix it warrior". Who would stop at nothing to make the situation better. And all that fixing would trigger my heart, because look at how he's fighting for me. And our love would just become more entangled; this is why people don't leave each other.

He showed me his bitches, China was a bad little asian ting, Miami was Spanish and light as hell. And Paris was white, apparently she likes to say she has a little black in her. I thought she was referring to all the niggas shes fucked, cause I can spot lip injections when I see them.

I've never met the girls though, I've just seen them when we've driven to their house or stuff like that. I always stayed in the car cause Queens don't mingle with peasants, unnecessarily. But to be honest they didn't really bother me, because I hardly saw them and they didn't make much noise. They really were self-sufficient girls, I think they just wanted a protector, a daddy. To be able to know you have someone there if you need it. It only got on my nerves sometimes, when he had to leave me and go to them.

It's been a little more than two months and to be honest, I picked up how he plays his game. He's such a compartmentalized guy, "everything has a place and there's a place for everything" he says. He keeps business as business, which is separate from his personal life. His girls are business, they're strippers and escorts. Who just all happen to have an infatuation with black men, and making money for them. But I fall somewhere in between, business and pleasure. He doesn't play about pouring into us though. He got his accountant to set up an RRSP for me and we put money into it already. He did it for all his girls when they first started, and he contributes to it every month.

The difference with me is, I haven't started back work yet. I'm starting the night after my birthday, the 15th which is next week. Right now I just manage the calls for the girls when they post. I've been making myself useful in other ways around the house though, cooking and cleaning. I've been studying him and his moves. I even made a-somewhat-friend in the condo. We met at the gym, I say somewhat because she's a complete square. So I can never be completely real with her. But it's cool, I get to live an alternate life when I'm with her.