"That's Business, Kid"

9

Summary:

A long-awaited confession and reunion.

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It turns out, Carol and I had both been repressed and in denial of our own feelings. What initially had started out as a one-sided pining situation ended up becoming a formed solidarity between two closeted homosexuals. Her obvious religious upbringing and my lack of romantic experience had resulted in a confusing first meeting, which later made us realize that what we both saw in each other wasn't much of a romance, but more of a friendship between two polar opposites who found a common ground and a mutual understanding of each other's situations.

So naturally, after having a brief confession session with each other about how we felt for our respective persons, we both decided to place bets on who would go confessing first. If Carol confessed to Helen first, I'd give her a 50% discount on whatever item Helen wanted to purchase from me. If I confessed to Sam first, she'd give me more of her confiscated sex toys for me to re-sell.

I wasn't one to back out of a challenge, so right after finishing my food, I hightailed the fuck outa McDonald's in search of a familiar head of ambitious amber hair.

I probably would have found Sam sooner if I hadn't gotten sidetracked by a measly text message.

But then again, it was a text message from my dad.

Who I hadn't heard from in weeks.

So whatever the hell he'd been up to better explain his absence.

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"So uh, long story short, I got kidnapped by two British bozos working for the Queen of England because your mother had some beef with Lizzie over a transaction of orphan hearts but it's all good now thanks to Bryce beating the ever living shit outa her and oh, did I mention we got married a few days ago? Yeah, it finally fucking happened! Not to mention, she's actually growing her own heart now while your good ol' padre is out here strutting around without one hah but anyway how have you been, bud?"

Luxy blinked as he tried to process and digest the information his father had just spilled on him all in one breath. When the old bastard asked if they could meet up at the arcade so he could explain the reason behind his absence, Luxy wasn't exactly expecting all that. He wordlessly motioned for his father to keep going, but instead of elaborating the story like he hoped, the horny terrorist simply stared back at his very confused son with a wide, toothy grin.

"Ugh, okay, as much as I want to question everything else you just said, could you repeat that last part for me again??"

"You mean about me not having a heart?"

"Yeah, that." Luxy nodded before slamming his hands on the table in between them. "The fuck do you mean you don't have a heart anymore?!"

"That I don't... need one.. to survive??"

That barely did anything to answer Luxy's question, which left Bobby no choice but to explain everything that had happened since he got kidnapped. The young salesman listened intently to every word, despite not quite fully believing how all that shit happened in the span of about three weeks.

"Okay... I honestly don't know what's more shocking to me; you not needing a heart to keep you alive or the fact that it took you and Ma this long to tie the knot."

Bobby shrugged. "Ever since the day your mother cut out her heart for me, I knew there was no other woman I'd want to spend the rest of my life with. The only thing marriage did was make it official on a piece of paper. Also, sorry for not inviting you to the ceremony. It was just a spur of the moment kinda thing and we really only had Donovan there to officiate it."