I knew it was wrong to invade her privacy like this, but something tells me, if I turned to the next page, everything will make sense to me.
I was still wondering how this got into my bag, but I could care less right now. My hands subconsciously turned to the next page, revealing a DVD, and a little note.
"Confessions. ( High School, Freshman Year. )"
I smiled to myself, remembering the little tapes we had to record at the beginning to high school, the teachers claimed that a lot would change from Freshman year to Senior year, and it would be a great way for us to see the difference.
I abruptly pulled out the DVD and played it.
Moments later, (Y/N) appeared on the screen, with a huge smile plastered on her face.
"Hi! My name is (Y/N)! and judging by the tone of my voice, you can imply that I'm a very happy girl! Right?"
Her smile slowly faded as she took a deep breath.
"Well.. you're wrong. My life is... miserable, lonely, pathetic, and stupid.. you know.. the list can stretch on, but I rather not say it all."
She paused and closed her eyes for a moment before pulling something out of her pocket.
"I'm only telling you this, because nobody else is going to see this, which means nobody can tell me i'm weak, and lame.. it means nobody gets to see how much pain they've caused me."
She slowly unwrapped something.
"Since this is a confession video... let me tell you a bit about myself. I have no family, they all died in an accident. I have no relatives, because nobody wanted to be my guardian. I have no friends, which means I don't have anyone I can go to for advice, or when I need a shoulder to lean on. However, I do have a very good friend, who is always by my side. "
She sighed and slowly held up a razor.
"Meet my best friend. It's the only thing that was there for me when I needed it. It took away all the pain inside, and left me with these wonderful scars on my wrists."
A silent tear rolled down her cheek, and she swiftly wiped it off.
Now that we got that over with... let's talk about something rather personal.
My crush.
==========================================================
"Let's just say my crush is cute, hot, popular, and doesn't know I exist. But who could blame him? He's got girls throwing themselves at him. He probably gets a different date every night. Most guys in his position would be sleeping around, and would very cocky. But not him. He is sweet, he is funny, and he's different. Most of the guys at this school makes me gag, except for him. But hey... why should I care? It's not like i'm gonna get a chance with him anyways. There are girls way hotter than me, way prettier, and smarter."
She took a shaky breath and buried her face in her hands.
"But it wouldn't kill him to at least notice me right? No guy has ever even looked at me. Everyone else had their first kiss, first boyfriend, first love.. then there's me.. the lonely potato."
I chuckled as she scrunched her face into a pout.
"Wanna know his name? Why don't you guess? He has curly hair, green eyes, dimples, and a beautiful smile."
She paused and smiled at the ground.
"Yup.. you guessed it. Harry Styles. "
Wait.. what?
(YOUR POV)
"Where is it?!" I mumbled.
I was frantically searching for my diary, but was having no luck at all.
The last time I saw it, was the day Harry came over. I left it on the coffee table, and suddenly it's gone.
Just what I needed.
That's where I write down all my personal things, and whenever I wanna kill myself, that's where I go to. I remember my mom telling me how to deal with my problems and how broken she looked when she found me on the ground with a razor in my hand. From then on,I've always used this technique, it works really well so far.
I sighed as the memories slowly made their way back into my mind.
(flashback)
"Honey, we're home! We bought lemon creme pie! Your favorite!" ( sorry if it isn't your favorite. ! XD )
I sighed and attempted to get up. But I was weak, vulnerable, and numb. It's been another rough day, I went to school, got harassed, and came home. But today was a bit different. It was the day a boy decided to tear me apart by forcing me to kiss him, and taking what I value the most.
My innocence.
Yes, he raped me.
But you know, it was just for pleasure, I was a useless piece of trash anyways.
I was ready to just give up and end my life. I was done being used and bullied. I was tired to being hurt over and over again. It wasn't even painful anymore. The feeling was just numb.
I was interrupted when the door swung opened, revealing my mom with a roll of paper towels.
"Honey! What are you doing!?" She cried as she picked me up, and placed my head on her lap.
"I'm sorry mom."
---------------
"She lost a lot of blood, but she will live. It's a good thing you brought her in, when you did. A minute later, she probably wouldn't have made it." an unfamiliar voice said.
I heard a sob emitting from my parent's lips as I forced my eyes opened.
My mom immediately grabbed my hand whilst my dad kissed my cheek.
"I'm so sorry. I should've known you were doing this. Why didn't you say anything?" She whispered.
"I didn't want you to worry. I thought I could deal with it.. but I guess not."
She smiled slightly and pulled out a baby blue journal from her purse.
"Now baby, you have to promise your mother you won't ever cut again, okay?" My dad's voice rang.
I smiled and nodded.
She handed me the journal and intertwined our fingers.
"From now on, whenever you're feeling upset, I want you to write down your feelings. Self harming is never the answer okay? Your life is valuable, and you can't give up this easily"
I nodded once again as she pressed a kiss to my cheek.
(end of flashback)
I snapped myself back to reality and ran my fingers through my hair. I was about to give up and go to bed when my doorbell suddenly rang.
