14. WHERE DO YOU LIKE BEING KISSED?

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Claudia

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Claudia.

It's been almost eight years since the time leading up to the day we were supposed to get married, standing before our loved ones, promising forever. I wish I could say I've forgotten her, but the truth is, it's hard to erase someone you once loved deeply from your mind. Time has passed, life has moved on, but her memory still lingers, woven into the very core of who I am. Despite everything, she's still a part of me.

The memories of that day are crystal clear, as if they happened just yesterday. We were meant to tie the knot, surrounded by love and celebration. The ring sparkled in its box, waiting eagerly for its moment. The hall was decked out in flowers and soft lights, setting the stage for our happily ever after.

But amidst all the apparent perfection, something felt off. She suddenly asked Liz to be her bridesmaid, catching me completely off guard. It felt strange and unexpected, like a piece of the puzzle that didn't fit. Little did I know, that odd moment was just the beginning of a series of events that would turn the night upside down.

She publicly broke off our engagement and it sparked an uproar all over the Internet. I questioned myself a lot, the signs, how did I miss them? She stopped saying "I love you." She stopped saying all the important things, or maybe I noticed them, but was foolish enough to think that I could love her enough for the both of us.

I was so foolishly wrong. And publicly if I might add. But fortunately for me, according to my agent at the time, Elizabeth's family had become fans of the spotlight and the entire media attention. And that fondness helped bury my divorce. As we were legally married in court.

Most of my friends don't know this, but the divorce wasn't finalized until three years later, right after West Jr. was born. I admit, it hurt. I had several breakdowns where I thought that should have been me, I should have been welcoming a new life had everything with Claudia had worked out. I get it, being a hockey player is really fucking busy and being married to one is signing up for something entirely huge.

"Terence," she said when I opened the door to her. "It's great to see you, it's been a while."

Great to see me? I thought I was going to feel something, but nothing came close to the surface of my emotional wellbeing.

Instead I was taken back to an ugly night in New York, when I walked in on her and a former teammate. I remembered it all at once, how I retreated to the hotel's lobby, where I emptied my stomach into one of their toilets. Bad night for that guy.

And that was when I met Ivy for the first time.

While I emptied my bowels into the toilet, she emptied her tear glands in the toilet of the next restroom. Of course I walked into the women's room without seeing. My head was a foggy mess. And here I thought Claudia dragged the divorce on and on because she had some residual feelings for me, while she just needed more money.

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