This is me trying

Long story short

~Long story short, it was a bad time
Long story short, I survived~

Tw: mentions of abuse, eating disorders and panic attacks

Taylor speaks up "What was that, Grace?" I look down at my hands, still trying to catch my breath. Judging by Taylors concern, all the movements that I was not able to make in the dream, did happen, it just felt like I wasn't able to move.

"Grace?" Taylor asks carefully "Can you look at me? I won't hurt you I promise." I look up slowly. "Did you have a nightmare?" I nod. "Do you want to tell me what is was about?" I shake my head. "Was it about your foster father?" I nod as tears that I have been trying to keep in escape my eyes.

Taylor doesn't say anything else, but just pulls me into a hug. Instead of shooting into fight or flight mode, as I usually do, I feel safe and melt into the hug.

~Taylor's version~

When I pull Grace into a hug, I expect to feel her freeze up. Instead she melts into the hug. I think she is starting to trust me a little.

We stay in the hug for a little more before she pulls away. "What time is it? I don't know how long I slept." I check my phone. "Its 9 a.m. we fell asleep watching TV and slept through the night on the couch." She nods "Want to grab some breakfast? We have some time before we need to go" she hesitates a little but nods again.

"I'm just going to make some sandwiches, what would you like on yours?" Grace  shrugs. "Would you like peanut butter or just some cheese?" "Cheese is fine." She mumbles. I nod and start making the sandwiches.

I hope that by giving her two options, it makes it easier to eat at least something. 

I finish making the sandwiches and put them on the table, along with two glasses of orange juice. We sit down and start eating. 

"Do you want me to be there with you when you tell your story today?" Grace hesitates before answering. "If you want to, I mean, I don't want to be a bother." "No, you're not a bother, I'll be there for you, I know this day is going to be difficult for you." "Thank you Taylor." Grace almost whispers. I grab her hand and squeeze it a little. 

I notice she has not touched her sandwich at all. "Not hungry?" Grace shakes her head "Not really, sorry." "It's okay, I'll pack something for you if you get hungry, you don't have to apologise for not feeling hungry." Grace nods. "We should go get ready, so we can be there on time if traffic is bad." I propose, before getting up and grabbing our plates. 

When I walk to the kitchen, Grace kind of trails behind me, clearly not knowing what to do next. "Why don't you start getting ready and we will see eachother in the living room in thirty minutes?" I suggest. Grace nods, looking happy with having something to do and leaves the kitchen.

I finish putting away the dishes and also go upstairs to get ready. I put on some jeans and a neat sweater and walk to the bathroom to brush my teeth and put on some makeup. When I'm ready I walk downstairs and find Grace already dressed in the living room. "Ready to go?" I ask, even though I know she'll never actually be ready for this, however, she nods. 

We walk to my car and get in. I turn on the radio and we start driving in comfortable silence. The longer we drive, the more I notice Grace's breathing getting shakier, as well as her hands. I reach over the console and grab one of her hands, squeezing it slightly.

We arrive at the office and I park the car. "Remember, if you want to stop at any time, I will get you out of there. You get to choose what happens in there." Grace nods.

We get out of the car and I grab Grace's hand. We walk in to the building and up to the front desk "Hi we have an appointment for Grace Anderson?" "Yes, I have it here, you can take a seat in the waiting room and someone will come get you in a bit." the receptionist says. "Thank you so much!"