Tigerstar's Goals

Chapter 17

Tigerstar opened his eyes. He was lying on the grass of Fourtrees with moonlight washing around him and the rustle of leaves above his head. For a few heartbeats he relaxed, reveling in the warm air of greenleaf.

Then he remembered where he had last been: chasing Ravenpaw away, running onto the Thunderpath, the monster.

Abruptly he sat up. He was not alone. The warriors of StarClan lined the clearing, illuminating it with the shimmer of their pelts and the gleam in their eyes. In the front rank Tigerstar could see the cats who had given him his nine lives: Bluestar, Leopardfoot, and Mistkit, Oakheart…and a newcomer, Ravenpaw, the usual haunted look in his eyes gone and with starlight glimmering in his thick fur.

"Welcome, Tigerstar," meowed the black warrior.

Tigerstar scrambled to his paws. "What are you doing here?" he hissed. "I chased you off of my territory, didn't I?"

It was Bluestar who replied. "Look, Tigerstar."

Tigerstar saw there was a space beside her. At first he thought it was empty, but suddenly he realized that it was filled by the faintest outline of a dark brown tabby cat. His amber eyes glowed so pale they barely reflected the starlight that filled the hollow, but Tigerstar recognized him at once.

"You have lost your first life," Bluestar meowed bitterly. "From the monster."

A shiver ran through Tigerstar. So this was what it felt like to die. He stared in mingled curiosity and fear at the pale copy of himself in the middle of the clearing, and as his gaze locked with the ghost cat’s he suddenly saw himself, hunched with his fur ragged and bitter pain burning in his eyes.

Tigerstar wrenched his head aside to break the contact. There was no time for this. Surely the whole point of having nine lives was so that he could keep going?

"Send me back," he spat. "I don't have time for this!"

Bluestar stepped forward. "Won't you ever learn from your mistakes, Tigerstar? Your body needs a moment to recover. You will go back soon enough."

"What mistakes? Why is Ravenpaw here? Why won't you send me back?!"

The former ThunderClan leader stared at him, a cold fire in her blue eyes. "Do you see Ravenpaw here?" She flicked her tail at the black cat as he stepped forward. "He knew you had nine lives, but he decided to sacrifice his one life to try and save one of your nine." Bluestar glared at Tigerstar. "You tortured and bullied him for moons when he was your apprentice, and you attacked him just then! But he still came back for you." Ravenpaw's yellow eyes glowed with wisdom far beyond his age while she continued snarling. "That is true mercy, the life I gave you, and yet you still don't know how to use it!"

Tigerstar curled his lip. "It's not my fault he came back for me!"

"No." Bluestar gazed deep into Tigerstar's eyes. "This was all Ravenpaw's choice, and he made the right one, to save a life. He would have been a compassionate warrior."

Tigerstar’s paws worked impatiently in the grass. What was the use of a lecture? He could not tear his mind away from his original reason to leave camp; to get water for the elders and queens. I promised Tallpoppy I'd return. "Bluestar—"

The she-cat raised her tail to silence him. "Silence!" she hissed. "You have lost your chance to gain a word in this conversation. You grew up with love and support from the Clan all around you. Yes, Pinestar left. Yes, your sisters died. But the rest of us were here for you and supported you along the way! I don't know what we did wrong for you to grow into a blood-thirsty killer and a torturing leader, but we didn't raise you like that."