All things ENFP

My thoughts on INFJs (from an ENFP)

So you want to know what I think of the "rarest" type eh? Maybe I will share my thoughts on all the other types as well, but I'll start with these (you) guys. 

I have very mixed feelings about INFJs, as I do with every type, but since they are the most talked about MBTI type I'd say these feelings are pretty strong. I want everyone to know that I do not hate or dislike INFJs, but I don't really care for the way they are portrayed online. There is a lot of bias in the MBTI community, and it definitely needs to be talked about. I have two people in my life who are very close to me and I am positive they are INFJs. I love many things about them, but they are not without their shortcomings. 

Things I love about INFJs:

-Typically they are very kind and sensitive people. They are very understanding and validate your feelings. This is an amazing strength they have, and definitely something I'm trying to improve on. 

-They phrase criticism tactfully, and they aren't harsh. As someone who is very sensitive to criticism, I also appreciate this. 

-They are amazing to have conversations with, both as listeners and giving insight. 

-Good at both feeling and thinking.

-I wouldn't say they are the deepest type since any type can be deep, but they are deep and I love that. 

-I want to give them hugs. 

-I seem to like quiet and nice people which explains why I chase down INFJs and ISFJs and wanna protecc them. They aren't dismissive like ISTJs or INTJs. They (I hope) appreciate my friendship and seem to be very loyal and caring. 

-They seem to be well balanced people and try their best to be responsible and calm (although it's pretty hard for them), and I have a thing for IxxJ types since I am an ExxP type. Their strengths are pretty much my weaknesses. 

-Fights are rare, and if they do happen the conflict resolution is healthy and based on mutual respect. 

Now for the things I don't love so much...

-How do I put this...without sounding mean...INFJs are rather absolutist or all or nothing. I'm sure you've heard about the "door slam". I feel like they either let people walk all over them, or they set unbreakable walls and sometimes for an invalid reason. Now of course a mature INFJ would find a good line in the middle, but...this is not healthy. 

-This is another maturity thing, since any type can overcome these weaknesses with maturity and self improvement, but they don't tell you what they're feeling and seem to force themselves to suffer in silence and they have this instilled belief that no one cares...I am an ENFP...if I detect that you're feeling uncomfortable and you're not willing to tell me why, that will cause me (and probably any other NF type) major anxiety. I don't like having to guess someone's feelings since my Ne will make me paranoid. I wish they could just say how they feel so I wouldn't have to guess...(this is an Fi vs Fe problem). 

-They think they have it worse than everyone else...that they are the only ones who are misunderstood, lonely, depressed, worried...and if anyone else experiences these feelings, they think they feel it stronger. This probably isn't every INFJ, but it's a very common thing I see. 

-Again, the pessimism and absolutism. I can be both these things, and I am frequently. However, I sometimes feel like INFJs suck the life out of me. I look optimistic and fun on the outside, but inside I'm not.  When an INFJ is in a low state, and I am as well...their presence sometimes doesn't help (it does when only one of us is in a low state and we can comfort one another, but if its both of us...the feelings are very intense and hard to escape. In some cases, this isn't a bad thing either since shared feelings can be a good thing and lead to understanding, but sometimes it makes the situation worse). 

-The last thing is that they seem to have "humble pride". INFJs are sometimes genuinely humble and that can be a good thing or a bad thing. Pride isn't always bad either since it is good or healthy for an INFJ to be confident in their abilities. What I'm talking about is the subtle passive aggression I sometimes see from INFJs, and usually this is online. The "I'm so sad, but self aware and no one is as deep or caring as me and I am the best but I hate myself" thing. This PISSES me off. I have a superiority-inferiority complex so I kind of get it, but it definitely doesn't manifest like this. This kind of humble pride is so confusing and low key mean and condescending. 

-Guys, they aren't the rarest type anymore...its ENTJ...

Conclusion:

I know it looks like there is more bad than good, but there is definitely wayyy more good than bad when it comes to INFJs, the "bad" stuff was just kind of hard to explain. This doesn't apply to every INFJ at all, and I hope I did not hurt anyone's feelings. 

However I will say once thing. INFJs...be real with people and be real with yourselves. Don't force anyone to guess...

Other than that, stay perfect, and many loves and hugs

-ENFP.