All things ENFP

My thoughts on INTJs

Yeah so...I just did INFJs, so I decided to do the other Ni dom, and my "soulmate" INTJ. 

Disclaimer: I'm not sure if I've ever met an INTJ in real life. I have met INFJs and ISTJs. My very biased estimations about them come from what I've seen them say online, and some famous and fictional INTJ people and characters. Please take everything I say with a grain of salt. 

I also have mixed feelings about these guys. As you know, I'm an ENFP (have I said that enough?), and I think INTJs have as many mixed feelings about us as we do about them. Our types have a very complicated relationship since I feel like it could either ride or die if we put our two types in a relationship. So, what do I think of them?

A LOT of my fictional crushes have been INTJs. Freaking Mr. Darcy comes to mind since I'm obsessed with Pride and Prejudice (but men like him don't exist). Hannibal Lector is also an INTJ so...that's nice...Very mixed bag here. Then again, a certain German dictator was an INFJ and so was Jesus (according to reddit I guess). When it comes to ENFPs, Fidel Castro (a Cuban dictator) was apparently an ENFP so I guess we can be weird dictators and cult leaders as well...what was my point?

What I'm trying to say is...INTJs are kind of risky. As an ENFP wondering what it would be like to be around a possibly scarily intellectual person who plays no games, and possibly can do anything to you without any emotional attachment is like holding a grenade. Did I just call INTJs narcissists? They aren't, maybe some are, but your MBTI doesn't measure that. 

I honestly feel like INTJs wouldn't like ENFPs. When it comes to our outer presentation to the world, we are night and day. The only thing in common we have is our shared preference for intuition (and yes, we have shared cognitive functions), which we use for completely different purposes. ENFPs like connecting with people, exploring, theorizing, and being spontaneous. INTJs like theorizing, but they like the familiar, and seem to despise connecting with people. ENFPs are very emotionally transparent and don't really care about the consequences (well until after the fact). INTJs are very emotionally guarded, and they do care about the consequences and plan their way around them and stay committed to the goal. 

Now differences can be a good thing. INTJ x ENFP is probably the most popular MBTI "ship", and I even fell down that rabbit hole, but now that I'm out of it...I'm not sure how well it could work, especially for me. I am a VERY emotional ENFP, and I am horrible when it comes to criticism, and I can sometimes take things personally. I at least have enough self-awareness to acknowledge this.  I'd drive an INTJ nuts. Also, I would not get the same amount of affection or emotional connection that I crave in a relationship with an INTJ. That is just not going to happen, and to me that is a deal breaker. 

I do like INTJs though, and I would like to befriend one someday to learn about how their minds work. I am a sapiosexual (meaning I find intelligence attractive, like on an absurd level, probably because I'm an idiot) so the fact that most (not all) INTJs are intelligent and intellectual, I love that personally. I also kind of envy them, and if I could be any type I would be an INTJ. Why? Because I wish I didn't care as much as I did. Because I wish I could finish things and plan things like they do, and because I wish I had the confidence they have because I know I never will. 

So, as you can see, I have mixed feelings about INTJs. I love them and I dislike them.