Pure Creature (The Witcher)

DESIRES

We didn't prolong our conversation. We ended up getting out of bed. After the meal, Geralt reported that he was going for a walk to Roach. I had a huge desire to ride a horse and I asked him if I could go with him. He didn't expect this request, and invited me. It was a calm and revitalizing walk. Few words were spoken and I surrendered to the peacefulness there. I closed my eyes, paying attention to all the nature around us. The freshness of the natural aromas calmed me down. We stopped on the bank of a river. Geralt said he wanted to fish. So I crossed my legs over a fallen log. I watched him hunt and how he studied his prey in detail. At the end of this silent activity, he raised his neck to look at the sky. He said it was getting late and we had to return. Jaskier was waiting for us. He indicated that he would be absent. He regretted not being able to keep us company one more night. Even though I knew that wasn't true. He was eager to meet the woman he had known.

This time, Geralt wanted to participate with me in preparing dinner. We would eat the fish he caught. Then I was alone once again. The witcher set out to defeat the kawsuttihn. The fight started as I walked back and forth impatiently. As a result of this, I was stabbed with shards of pain. I bent over, shaken by agony, the kawsuttihn was dying. And, inexplicably, I felt sorry for him.

Two desires fought inside me. One to alert the witcher that the evil creature was dying. The other asked me to go out and help the kawsuttihn.

Step by step, as if I were walking the longest and most difficult path of my life, I staggered against the wall a few times until I reached the door. As soon as I opened it I fell on my own knees. I was hit by a severe headache. I couldn't hold back the scream that escaped my throat. The witcher turned desperately to me.

"Go back inside!" He yelled.

"He's dying!"  I cried as if my heart was being torn apart.

"Janet!"

"Finish him, please!"  I closed my eyes.

Kawsuttihn's suffering made me burn inside. Unable to get up again, I struggled to close the door and crawled to the center of the room where I lost consciousness.

Soon, I was surprised by Geralt standing over me repeating my name several times. He appeared exhausted. I smiled at him and ran my fingers through his dark circles. He sighed, slumping his shoulders.

"It ended! You are free!"  He rested his forehead on mine.  "I thought I lost you because you were connected!"

"I'm here!"  I got up to hug him.

He kissed me so greedily, as if I were going to evaporate through his fingers. He held me tightly in his arms and guided me to the bed. His hands played with pure desire. I gasped as I also wanted him so deeply.

"Wait!" I murmured as I placed my hands on his shoulders to make him step back a little.

"Is something wrong?"  He was on alert.

"Everything is fine!"  I calmed him down.  "It's just..."  He waited for me to speak.  "I told you that I haven't been with another man before."

"And then?"

"This isn't right."  I sat down.  "You finished your job. The kawsuttihn no longer exists. It's time for me to go. I have a life out there waiting for me. My family also had hope that one day I would be free."

"Is that what you want?"  There was a little agitation in his voice.

"I don't know..."  I looked down at my hands.

"I can say what I want."  He placed a finger on my wrist.  "I want to wake up and see you by my side. I'm not going to make you impossible promises. But I can promise that I will bring light to your path. I will keep evil away from you."

"I don't know how to say this... I can taste your words."  I raised my head.  "I believe in what you say!"  I finally felt desired by someone without the worst intentions.  "I trust you!"

I moved towards his mouth. I decided to surrender. Here my freedom began. Sitting down, he stretched his arms and pulled me towards him. My thighs were spread apart by his legs. In slow movements, the pieces of clothing separated from us. We were in no hurry. There was no urgency. Time was running alongside us and we didn't care. My skin reacted to his every touch. I got goosebumps when his hands ran up and down my back. If I had never seen magic before, I was experiencing it now. I had him to myself. Surrendered to me. While offering him my body and soul. In this way we unite as one. All reasoning and reason departed from me. All of me was emotion. I crossed my arms around his neck so he wouldn't stay away from me. He shook my waist firmly. Never before had I experienced such tenderness. Little tears ran down my face.

"Janet?"  He wiped away each tear with his own lips.

"I have a small perception of what others feel. Maybe it's a gift."  I rested my head on his shoulder.  "I have never felt so loved!"  I murmured against his neck.

Geralt laid me down with the greatest delicacy. I remained pressed against his chest, listening to his heart beating happily, reminding me of the beating of a hummingbird's wings. I dreamed that I was on the bank of a river full of flowers and hummingbirds, and suddenly there was an explosion. A woman with black curly hair and violet eyes taking Geralt with her.

I woke up with my head throbbing. Geralt slept peacefully. I got out of bed cautiously. I got dressed, picked up what I wanted and realized that this was a cowardly way of doing it. I grabbed a sheet of paper to write a quick goodbye letter.

"Where are you going?"  Geralt woke up when I put my hand on the door.

"I can not stay!"  I lowered my head, unable to look at him.

"What?"  He prepared to get up. 

"Yennefer will come back to pick you up. I saw you go, just like when I saw you arrive. I can't be more fond of you! It would be my destruction! I'm sorry!"  I resisted seeing him one last time. That would convince me to stay.  "Please don't look for me!"  I ran hoping he wouldn't follow me.