How to Stay Out of Prison: A Modern-Day Woman's Guide

Chapter 14

Nixon~

I sat on the barstool, drinking my beer, as I waited for my jackass brothers to stop laughing.

Fucking assholes.

"Oh, this is priceless," Lincoln said through his unappreciated laughter. "She actually snuck out of her own home, pretending she was leaving for Minneapolis. Jesus Christ, Nix, how bad in the sack are you?"

I flipped him off. After all, that question didn't warrant an actual answer. I didn't suck in the sack, goddamn it. Still, I didn't want to explain to Linc and Jackson that Lyrical was crazy. I wanted them to meet her first, then grow to love her before I explained that she was a bit off in her pretty head.

Now, while Jackson wasn't being as big of a dick as Lincoln was, he was close. "I don't think that even during my worst performance, I've ever had a woman sneak out of her own home just to avoid me."

It hadn't been my proudest moment.

Now, normally, I wouldn't share such personal details with others, but these were my brothers, so they didn't count as others. Plus, I needed to talk to someone about this madness because, much like Jackson, I'd never had a woman willingly flee the comforts of her own home just to get away from me. Maybe I needed to confess to them that Lyrical was actually a little touched in the head.

"It wasn't the sex," I insisted. "Not to...uh, brag or...tell her business, but...she responded eagerly to everything I did to her."

Truthfully, I hadn't even done all that much to her. Knowing that she was neurotic about her body image, I'd done my best to curb most of my wants and a lot of my needs. Because let me tell you, I had needed to eat her pussy. I had needed to suck on her tits. I had needed to choke her with my cock. I had needed to consume every physical inch of her perfect body.

It'd been hard to limit myself to only fucking her in certain positions and not touching her everywhere that I could. However, Lyrical had accused me of not paying attention when she had spazzed out, and that hadn't been true; I'd been paying nothing but attention to her.

Now, while not being an expert on women and their neuroses, I'd done my best to calm her fears but still reap the rewards. The small glimpse that I'd seen of her when she'd had her shirt off had been enough to know that she would look fantastic naked. Her tits were a perfect handful, and she was soft like a woman was supposed to be. I just wished that I could have convinced her of that last night.

Lincoln took a drink of his beer before saying, "Maybe she just wanted to get laid and didn't want an awkward morning-after."

"Or could be that she thought you just wanted to get laid, and so she was giving you an out, Nix," Jackson suggested.

I didn't remark on either possibility, instead I signaled the bartender for another round.

Huxley's was a low-key bar where you went if you wanted to just enjoy a beer and bullshit. They had a jukebox and brought in a DJ during the late hours, but for the most part, it was perfect for uneventful relaxing. It was why I had suggested that we come here instead of a club. I wasn't in the mood to party or fight the crowds for much-needed drinks. Lyrical really fucked me up with her disappearing act this morning, and so I needed some quality time with my brothers, even if they were both idiots.

I turned back to face my brothers just as Linc asked, "What are you going to tell Mom and Dad? I mean, I can't see them taking this news well, Nix."

Jackson's head nodded in affirmation. "Yeah. They're really looking forward to the wedding and the baby."