How to Stay Out of Prison: A Modern-Day Woman's Guide

Chapter 25

Lyrical~

I should be sleeping, but I was too amped up to go to bed. I'd spent years trying to keep my big mouth shut and my impulses curbed to avoid the very thing that had just happened.

I had gotten arrested and had ended up in goddamn jail.

Plus, I owed Lincoln St. James twenty-thousand dollars. Like I had twenty-thousand dollars just lying around for occasions like this. While I was sure that he'd take payments, it'd take around eighty-three years to pay that shit off at twenty dollars a month, because that was about all that my budget would allow right now.

Maybe if Rena and I agreed to weekly blowjobs, he'd lower the debt. However, I didn't want to blow Lincoln. I wanted to blow Nixon, and I was pretty sure that Nixon wasn't into sharing, much less sharing with his brother.

The knock on my door wasn't enough to distract me from the impossible math in my head, so I just hollered, "Come in." It could only be Rena, and she needed to do the math with me since her budget was no wealthier than mine.

I mean, what was the price range on blowjobs? Would we have to visit a street corner and get a price listing? Then my mind started giving me a headache with all the logistics popping up all over the place. I mean, there's a blowjob, but then there's deepthroating. Plus, there's swallowing, spitting it out, or letting it fly all over the place. Then, what if the man wanted a deepthroat, but you weren't capable? Did he get a discount? I dropped down on the couch, closed my eyes, then began to rub my temples.

What a disaster.

"So, I'm thinking, I can afford to pay back Lincoln like twenty dollars a month, but it'll take eighty years to pay it all off. And, Rena, hear me out," I implored. "Since half of the bill belongs to you, and you're hot and single, I say we can take turns blowing him to cut down the bill. But you're going to have to actually do him, if he requires it, because...I just don't think I can, Ree."

"What the fuck?"

I yelped, then jumped up off the couch to find a very pissed off Nixon St. James staring at me. "Uh...Nixon, what are you doing here?"

Could this night get any worse?

"Listening to how you plan on blowing my brother for a bail discount, apparently," he growled.

"Well, I don't have twenty-thousand-dollars, Nixon!" I yelled, the night finally getting the better of me. God, didn't the man have any compassion? "What the hell am I supposed to do?!"

He bore down on me. "Not blow my fucking brother!" he thundered. "Who, by the way, doesn't take blowjobs as payment or any other sexual favors!"

"Well, it's not like I want to blow him, Nixon," I snapped. "But I don't want to go to prison more."

"Holy Mary, Mother of God," he grumbled, clearly pissed and at his wit's end. "You are not going to prison for a fight unless you are on parole or something like that, Lyric. Are you on parole?"

"Well, no," I admitted.

"Is Rena?"

"No," I mumbled, finally realizing that I may be overreacting a bit. However, in my defense, it'd been a hell of a night.

"I'll handle Linc's bill, Lyric," he stated, still giving me the stink-eye. "You don't have to worry about it."

My eyes widened. Even if we'd been dating seriously, I'd never put that kind of commitment on any man's shoulders. "Nixon, you can't pa-"

"Lyric, so help me God, if you say you'd rather blow my brother than let me pay the bail, I think I will finally succumb to strangling the fuck out of you," he growled.