tw: suicidal ideation, academic stress, mentions of poor eating/sleeping habits
~i'm doing bad again~
written on: february 26, 2024
*
My father was waiting in his blue Honda Civic outside the airport, ready to take me home.
When I got in, he asked me about school.
I didn't reply until we made it to the highway.
I started sobbing.
I had worked through both flights,
I had typed and typed and emailed and worried.
I was desperately trying to get all my assignments in before the final deadline.
I had only managed enough to not fail any classes, barely, but I was still terrified.
I hadn't eaten in thirty-six hours, hadn't slept in forty-eight.
No time for any of that, not when I had schoolwork to do,
personal shortcomings to make up for,
my future to fix.
I was in the worst mental state I had been in since high school,
I wanted to die and relapse and then die again,
but all I could manage to choke out was
I got a C- in chemistry.
I cried all the way home,
I don't want to go back, Dad, I can't do it anymore.
YOU ARE READING
poetry by wunder
Poetrymy old stuff is pretty bad but my newer stuff is much better, please pay attention to when it was written and feel free to start at the end of the book!! i will have trigger warnings at the beginning of chapters when necessary. stay safe, i love you.
