"sleeping on the black top" Yellowstone fanfiction

13 "sepsis"

1997

I curled up on a beaten old mattress thrown inside the closet of the barn. My small head was pounding with so much pain I couldn't eat or sleep for days. My fingers were numb and clammy I was so sweaty that my clothes were soaked. My chest was so heavy that any slight movements winded me so badly. I remember staring at the bright crack coming from underneath the door I remember the light hurt my head and eyes. My eyes stayed shut as the pain was so much less when they were resting. It came to a point where my eyes crusted shut and it was much too painful for me to open them again. I spent hours curled up while rip went to work. He was worked from dusk until dawn. Even worked in the barn after dusk many days in a row. Rip wasn't scared of work. He was over worked by our father on our pig ranch. My father worked him until his fingers bled. Many fights were made between my mother and him over working too hard. Deep down inside we both knew she was proud of him. I went days without coming from that closet. Rip couldn't get me to budge. He left me alone and allowed me to slumber. Although he would wake me up to clean my eyes and try to feed me medicine.  This closet may have reminded me of my own back at home. My safe spot from anything harmful. I should've stayed in that damn closet. It's been a week since I last met with the doctor.  Rips says she should be back soon to check on me. I hated that doctor and I wished for her to never come back. A person who hurts me in the slightest I hated. So I hated her. "Fancy. Look who's here" Mr Dutton whispered. I didn't care. I didn't look up. I was too weak to lift my head. I could feel the doctor kneeling at my side. Her cold hands grazed my burning hot skin. God it felt so good. Like putting water on a hot flame. "Fancy are you awake?" The woman asked with a weary voice. "Yes" I whispered. The woman tilted my head to aim it towards the barn stall light. She gasped with surprise. "I don't want no more medicine" I whimpered. The doctor held my pulse like a puppy hit in the road. "Mr Dutton she's gone septic"

"What does that mean?" Rip panicked. John held up his hand to rip to relax the boy. "What does that mean?" He asked the doctor. "It means the infection in her eyes led through her entire body. Her organs can be damaged by this infection if you don't get it under control now. She needs to see a real doctor. She needs a hospital. A human doctor"

"Treat her how you would treat an animal"

"I can't sir. The human body is different. She needs a hospital. She needs one now"

"Is there anything you can possibly do. At all?"

The doc rubbed her hands through her hair as she was anxious. The look upon her face was awful. "I'm so sleepy rip" I mumbled. "Stay alert honey. Stay awake" she spoke quickly.
"...I'll have to quarantine her at my clinic.... But I don't think I could help much. She needs a hospital"

"I'll... I'll take her sir"

"If she goes to a hospital they are going to want to know what happened to her. They will find her records and come looking for you. They will send her into an orphanage then they will sentence you to death. Do you get that?" John sternly explained. "If that means saving her life I will do anything sir. Anything!"

"They will take everything from you"

"I don't care...I just need her better" rip panted. The doctor shook her head in disbelief. "I refuse to work on her. That's it! I refuse. You are going to kill a helpless little girl as if she's a sick calf. This is sick and twisted she is not an animal John." she spoke with intense worry. That worsened their behavior, but as for me? I am falling asleep as they bicker. Fast asleep my weak body drifted. Finally. Peace at last. No pain. No sorrow. Nothing. Just sweet sweet release.
My body wasn't heavy. It was calm. My shoulders were at ease almost as if I was floating. I can breathe so well at this point. 
My ease was destroyed when I feel the digging dragging pain of my eye sockets being sunken in by the evil thumbs of a man. That pressure, that tearing, that agony was excruciating. I can see his face. The slobber he spat as he clenched his teeth in anger. His sanity was gone I saw it as she choked me. I couldn't breath. I couldn't see... I  arose from my deep nightmare . "Easy. Easy child" a dark man spoke. His skin was olive. His hair was long, black and braided. His clothing was hairy and his lips were plump. "Rip!" I shouted out with my small shaky voice. "You're okay my child. Just relax. He's at home. You are safe"

"I want my brother!" I whimpered.

"Oh I understand.  I understand everything. But you need to focus on healing your body. Healing your soul"

I looked around as the earth around me was steaming. I was in a tent with only scorching hot Coals placed around me. I was in the nude with a tight deer skin around my teeny tiny frame. "I...I want my mama" I cried. My eyes were in terrible shape. I could only see the shapes of the objects in the room. For the most part common sense was all I needed. "I want my mama" I began to cry as I felt safe to. "You will be okay. You need to sweat out the toxins. Pour out the bad. Yank in the good. Understand?"

I was pouting. I was concerned that I couldn't see and I was alone with a stranger. "I want my mama!!" I cried louder as my eyes crusted shut again. The faceless man took my hand gently as he wiped my sad damaged eyes. He stroked my skin with a wet cloth for a moment. He began to sing to me in a language I just couldn't understand. It sounded beautiful. As he sang to me he gently placed my head back down on to my pillow to continue to rest. He stroked my hair as he mumbled a song to ease my sorrow. I can tell the song was powerful, so meaningful by the way he sang it. By the tone of his voice I knew he was telling me it was okay to let go. It was okay to ease back into my state of relief. His voice gave so much serotonin. I drifted to sleep.

Before I knew it my eyes were being peeled open by a bright fiery light. "Good morning sweetheart" the deep husky's mans voice spoke. I quickly squeezed my eyes shut as the light burned. "Come. Sit up darling" his hand placed down on the base of my back as I sat up. The room was no longer hot. It was cool and collected I wasn't clammy anymore, My head wasn't pounding, I could breathe at last I didn't feel like I was slowly suffocating in my own body. I felt alive. "Seems to me her eye has lost complete vision. The other became infected also. Small damage was done, but remember small damage is still large damage" the man spoke outside of the tent I was pitched up in. As curious as I was I squinted my eyes out to see Mr Dutton and Lloyd along with another man dressed in beads and pearls. "You look much better half pint" Lloyd hummed a smile. My cheeks grew for the first time in days. "Shall we get you home to your big brother?" Lloyd pulled me up from the spiritual bed I had recovered in. He pulled the zipper up from rips old carharrt jacket he draped over my shoulders. "Keep this on for a couple weeks. Let it rest. Drink some tea made from this" the old native doctor placed a berlap sack in my fingers. Inside the sack held multiple nuggets of herbals tea. I looked down at the sack as my eye vision became black as something tightened over my skull. An eye patch. A patch made of leather from their home stead. "Thank you" my small raspy voice whispered. The man nodded before my small weak body was lifted into Lloyd's arms. Gently I laid my head down on his shoulder as he carried me. "You're one cute pirate pipsqueak."

"Is rip looking for me?" I questioned. "Oh yeah honey. He's been bouncing off the walls worrying about you" Lloyd sat me in the front seat of the truck. "He will be happy to see you"
From what was left of my vision I watch Mr Dutton getting into his own vehicle. "Is he mean" I asked. Lloyd shook his head. "If you give him a reason to be mean he can be mean" Lloyd reassured me. "...." I laid my head down on the door as my head began to hurt again. "You okay peanut?"

"The light...hurts my head..." 

"Well whenever that happens you put that patch on. Doc says it'll do you good. Ya heard?" The man smiled underneath his mustache at my small tired little soul. After passing out on the way home I was Gently he lifted from the truck I was in. Lloyd rubbed my back very soothingly as he took me inside to go to bed. "Fancy..- rip spoke seriously. "Rips!" I pouted as my arms reached out for him. Rip held me close against him as he smooched the side of my head. "You okay? You don't feel warm anymore" he whispered softly to me. "I'm okay... Im very sleepy" I spoke as I leaned my head against his. He smiled up to me. "You look like a little pirate" he chuckled. "I don't know what that means" I mumbled as my eyes shut slowly. "Doc said she'll be sleepy for awhile. He said to keep that damn leather pantie lookin thing over her eye when times get tough.  If she starts feeling sick again that's when we worry. But right now that peanut is ay okay!" Lloyd winked over at rip as rip breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank..god"

........