i find myself running home to you

( i am so lost because you felt like home) chapter 11

You snapped out of your daydream as the microwave beeps repeatedly, you went and grabbed your plate and sat in front of the tv, continuing the movie. Your apartment was dark, the only source of light being the black and white movie playing on your screen. The pasta was steaming in front of you along with a cup of hot tea.

You glanced outside the large window of your apartment, seeing pretty light scattered over the landscape, people living their lives. You exhaled deeply, your heart feeling a tad better. I guess that's the charm of the New York City lights.

You've loved arts so much, wanting to pursue a career with it. As soon as you graduated college, you had been offered a job as an art teacher all the way in New York, as the recent one had quit because of health reasons. You took it immediately. You loved the offer and the salary was promising, and it's frickin New York. All the more reason to take up the offer.

You told your parents about the offer and how you wanted to take it. They went livid. They went on about how they planned after college that you were going to get married and settled down. Picking up a steady 9-5 job that would be a promising life. How that life would be so much better, a husband by your side. You had enough.

You did the unthinkable, maybe it's because of the adrenaline rush that was surging through your veins in spite of the moment but you did it, never once regretting.

You came out to them. Had made it super clear that you only had romantic attraction towards women and how you had a girlfriend once. You swear you would've taken a picture of their face at the moment, it was priceless. Your dad looked like a raging bull while your mom tried not to faint, you still think it's a little dramatic.

The audacity had you over the roof when they manipulated you, saying it's just a phase and how a man would make your life better. They threatened you, on how they'd kick you out of the house if you took the job offer and left. The guilt-tripping had you speechless at how desperate these people are. Your decision was final.

You accepted the job offer, you were due to leave in three days. You packed your bags and left for good. It was the second best decision you've ever made in your entire life. You felt proud of yourself. Crying a little on the plane to New York.
Once you arrived, you felt reborn. It wasn't easy, you have to admit. You had to remain composure and patiently teach your students the real meaning of art. Many of them didn't take it seriously, some even insulted it. It wasn't new to you and you were strong, you pushed through.

Due to your fond interest in art, your style has changed over the years. Your hair was longer now, slightly wavy and freshly dyed hazelnut brown, matching your brown eyes. You bought more blouses and accessories, looking fresh and confident. You also hit the gym near your apartment two years ago, you look good. You feel better.

It's been five years since you've left home, since you began your life as an art teacher in New york. Deep in your heart, you missed your parents.. You tried calling them many times after a few months of leaving, they didn't even bother picking up. Figured they blocked your number, simply forgetting you. You felt a little hurt at that but lived by it.

You kept in touch with James, seven years and going strong. James and Adam actually got married in Sweden a few years back and adopted a daughter, Helen. You Facetimed them, seeing how adorable Helen was, all big blue eyes and sand-coloured hair. She was playing with Billy at times, they grew close.

It's been seven years since you saw or even heard from her. You haven't mentioned her name in years, though she was the only one lingering in your head still. It hurt you too much to even say her name out loud, so you never did. You were almost convinced that summer camp wasn't real, you didn't have her number or even a picture of her. Just a memory. A distant one.