Irrevocable Love (Bill Kaulitz x Roslyn) By Lyn Nova

Fear

Year 2007
Roslyn's POV
(TW: this chapter has a lot of dark topics. Also, attempt at suicide. Reader discretion is advised)
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I wake up to the sound of laughter coming from Bill's kitchen. I look over and Bill isn't in the bed with me.
I get up, and throw on the black shirt I had on yesterday. I walk into Bill's bathroom, and look at myself in the mirror. My hair is a mess, and I never took off my makeup last night so it's smudged.
I wash my face using some of Bill's skincare. As I'm drying my face with a face towel, I start to think about last night. 'HOLY FUCK! BILL IS MY BOYFRIEND! OH MY GOD AND HE TOOK MY VIRGINITY!'I yell in my head.
Insecurities rush through my head. 'I mean..it was late. Maybe he didn't mean it.' I think to myself frowning. I look down at my body with contemplation. 'I can't go out there like this! My ass is basically hanging out!' I think to myself. I grab the clothes I had on yesterday, and quickly slip them on. I grab my heels, and step into them, making me a couple inches taller. I'm going to just leave my underwear in Bill's room. I don't even know where he threw it last night. I walk out the bathroom, and grab my purse.
I remember Tom mentioning something about going shopping today? 'I need to go get some fresh clothes.' I think to myself. I head downstairs, and I see all the boys in the kitchen.
"Good morning!" I say smiling lightly. "Ros! How did you sleep, Princess?" Bill asks while coming over to hug me. I hug Bill tightly, and I say "I slept really good actually." The boys look at us in confusion. "Princess? Did we miss a chapter?" Says Tom laughing. "I- we- umm.." I stutter looking down at my feet. "Last night, I asked Ros to be my girlfriend." Bill says then, giving me a kiss on the cheek. I blush a little and I notice the boys' eyes light up. "HOLY SHIT!! THIS IS AMAZING. Ros is going to be my sister in law! Ros and Bill, sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G!!" Tom says hugging me. The other boys cheer, and join Tom and I's hug. "Alright Tom, shut the fuck up." Bill says laughing. I blush like I never have before, and my cheeks grow hot. I already feel like a part of their family. The feeling is overwhelming but, truly euphoric.
"Okay, so we're going shopping. So, you can borrow some of my clothes, or you can change at home? Whatever works for you." Tom grins. Tom is so adorable. He feels like the brother I never had. "Yeah! I'll just run home, and change!" I say excitedly.
"Perfect!" Tom jumps up and down. I giggle a little bit at his excitement. "Can I walk you to your car?" Bill asks while grabbing my waist. "Of course!" I say. Bill grabs my hand, and starts to lead me out the house. I let the boys know that I'll see them later, and Bill and I start heading to my car.
I get lost in my thoughts a little bit, and Bill notices. "Are you okay, my love?" Bill asks concerned. "Did you mean what you said last night? That you really think I'm the most beautiful girl? I just...I don't know how you could think that. You've got to be the hottest guy on this planet. I guess I just don't understand." I say frowning. Bill stops walking, causing me to stop with him. "Ros, what you just said to me, is exactly how I feel about you." Bill leans down and kisses me deeply. I put my hand on his cheek, and slowly move my thumb across it. I move in for a hug, and Bill latches onto me quickly. I hear his heartbeat again. 'It seems like whenever I hear his heart, everything seems okay. The negative thoughts quiet down, and I feel safe.' I think to myself. I look up at him, and God, he's so handsome. "I really do appreciate your reassurance, Bill." I say smiling. "Princess, I will be here to reassure you until my heart stops beating." Bill says sweetly. I know that he's trying to be sweet but, even the thought of his heartbeat stopping, brings tears to my eyes. "Did I say something wrong? I'm really sorry if I did, Ros." He says sadly.
I wipe the tears from my cheeks. "N-no no. I just...I don't want to think about you dying...not ever. Now that I have you, I don't know what I'd do without you." I cry.
Bill brings me in for a warm embrace. "I'm not going anywhere, My love. You never have to think about that." Bill wipes the tears from my eyes, and starts to kiss all over my face, causing me to giggle. "There's the smile that I love so dearly!" He says laughing. I blush, and I unlock my car. I give him one last kiss, and get in my car. I start driving back to my house, thinking about how today is going to go.