Heartstopper x Reader

Chapter 20

The day before Tom left for college.

Tom and I were sitting in his car listening to our mix tape like always. We were driving to the mall so that we could spend the whole day together before he left for college.
Our windows open. Our hair messy because of the wind in our hair. He was acting weird all day but maybe it was because he was leaving everyone and everything that he knows.

We spent our day at the mall. We returned late in the night. We arrived at my driveaway. And that's when he started being nervous. I asked him  what was wrong. And this is exactly the moment that ruined our friendship.

'Y/n I want you to be quiet and just listen to me. I know you love to talk and interrupt, but please just listen. I mean, it's already really really hard saying this out loud. I can tell you I have been practicing all night. That's why I couldn't sleep. I want you to know it because I can't keep it any longer. We have been best friends since forever. But best friends often become more... I want you to know that I was trying... trying so hard not to catch any feelings for you, but you make it impossible for me. Your smile, your voice while you scream your whole soul out, your laugh and your... your beautiful eyes, that always look at me like that. I really tried y/n, but I failed. And I don't want to ruin our friendship and you don't have to... to feel the same way. It's ok. I just... I just want you to know how I feel about you. I like you y/n.'

He was literally sweating and laughing. But not a normal laugh. It was a nervous laugh. God he is beautiful.

I was so shocked. I didn't know what to say. I looked at him. He looked at me. 'I know I shouldnt have said that. And i know. I just know. But i couldnt keep it any longer. Please say something. Y/n...'. I looked at him, then at his lips. He leaned closer until our lips touched each other. He kissed me. I backed away. Looked him in the eyes. He wanted to say something. 'I am sor..' he couldnt finish his sentence because I kissed him back. Fuck I should not have done this. I didn't know what to do. I backed away. Opened the door and ran into my house. And that was the last moment we shared before he left for college. I remember the next day my mum asked me if she should drive me to their house. I said no. She didn't question it and just went away. She went alone.

I was just sitting on my bed looking out the window. My phone buzzed.
I got a message. I opened it. It was him.

Tom:
Y/n can we talk.
Please.
I am sooo sorry. I didn't mean to kiss you.
Please y/n answer me.
Your mum is here alone. She came to say goodbye. You know..
I am leaving for college today.
Please
answer
Y/n.
Please don't do that to me. I had to...

I opened it and didn't write anything back. I put my phone away and started crying. I cried for hours.