Twenty-three

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The look in Adrian's eyes is inexplicable

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The look in Adrian's eyes is inexplicable. I see a fierce fire in them, and there's also fear buried deep within. I see desire, too—raw and wild—and then I see danger. Too many emotions entangled in one mazed gaze of his scorching eyes.

For the first time since I've known him, I feel the uncertainty swirling around him like a tornado. A battle between his wants and needs. The way he's gripping my wrist feels like a cry for me to go back to him, to be with him, and every part of my being wants to cave in.

I know I want to be with him, too. Even the clouds have been grey and then perfectly blue. Love can turn us around and unblind us from past mistakes, right? I try telling myself this as the depth of his gaze tears my soul apart.

By accepting his plea, I'm hoping to fix every little piece he's rendered broken in my heart over and over again. By saying yes, I want to let go of the world around me and just sail away with him to wherever he wants us to be.

But no, I cannot do that.

Not again.

He's the core of my pain. He's the creator of the pleasure and his very same hands destroyed it when I was just beginning to embrace it. He's the reason for my neverending tears, many sleepless nights, and the unquenchable thirst for vengeance that drove me right back into his world. He controls the pace of my beating heart but he's the one who bleeds it too.

So the answer is no.

No, I can't go with him.

Without a word, I place another hand of mine and slowly peel his fingers off my opposite hand. His gaze stalks the whole process with a hint of unbelief.

Despite the clear picture of what I'm about to do, however, he still looks me up in the eyes as if he's demanding clarity for what is happening. He holds his eyes firm on mine, waiting for me to say something—just anything.

But there's nothing I can say.

I just don't want to obey anymore.

"Everything okay?" Ellighton's worried voice bursts through the silence and it's how I reconnect with the other world I've momentarily left behind.

Soft evening air slaps my face and multiple car engines roar from all over the city along with people's muffled voices from a distance.

"Yes, all good," I answer, lying to him and myself. "Mister Castle was just being polite by saying hi but he's done. We can go now." My eyes don't weave off Adrian's face as I say this with a mean voice.

Adrian's jaw flexes but he doesn't argue with me, as always. Although there's a hard line between his full eyebrows, he still looks contained. I hate it. The fact that he is not affected much by my reactions infuriates me even more.

"Listen, Adrian." Despite his height, I anchor myself and lean over toward his face, anger seething through my raspy breath. " I can take care of myself so leave me alone and stop following me around," I snap at him in a low voice through gritted teeth, and the beautiful scent of his cologne makes my heart race even faster.

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