Cummington Tales - A Billie Eilish Fanfiction

Chapter [2] = Episode [2]

Panda's POV

On our way, I had to listen to Billie and Willie argue about words that obviously don't rhyme by definition. On top of that, I had to roll down the windows because Billie kept farting and stinking up my truck. Childish, I swear.

After what seemed like ages, we finally made it to our destination. 

The Grove. A giant outdoor mall with tons of people walking through, chatting, hanging about, and visiting the abundance of stores and activities you can explore.

Wow. What a lovely place to go to. It's not like we're hanging out with literal celebrities or anything.

As we were getting our belongings from our cars, I caught sight of the guy again. Surprisingly, he was looking in the direction where I was parked. I frowned in slight alarm. I get nervous when people look at me, especially if I don't know them or aren't fond of them. I relaxed when I noticed he wasn't looking at me.

Very shortly, I heard Billie and Willie bickering and I rolled my eyes.

"My lyrics are immaculate!" Billie exclaimed.

"They are, but that doesn't change the fact that there's an error in them." Willie disagreed.

"There aren't any errors, I tell you!" Billie shot back.

"Billie, you do realize that "iPad" doesn't rhyme with "eye bag"?" Willie scolded.

"Close enough." Billie shrugged.

"It's really not." Willie disagreed.

I turned back around and realized that he wasn't looking at me.

No.

He was looking at Willie.

Judging by his satisfied nod to himself, he seemed to have liked what he saw.

I cringed. His face pisses me off. Seems like Willie might be in luck tonight. I decided to tease her again once she stood next to me.

"Hey, Willie. Don't look now, but that new guy was totally checking you out just now." I smirked.

"Huh!? W-what??" Willie stuttered.

"He seemed to like what he saw, too. If I were you, I would take the chance to "get to know him", if you know what I mean." I nudged her.

"Stop it! Don't joke like that!" Willie's face became red with embarrassment. She crossed her arms and pouted at me.

Gosh, she's so cute when she pouts.

"Hey, you might get lucky tonight. Since he already seems to be interested in you, I think it's safe to say there's a high chance of success."

"That's none of your concern, Panda. Besides, I'll let you know that I already receive pleasure regularly and I enjoy it very much." Willie stuck her nose up as if she did something.

"Can't say the same for your rose toy. Poor thing needs to be recharged more often than your phone." Billie blurted out.

"Shut up, Billie! No one needs to know!" Willie screeched. Her face started becoming red with embarrassment.

"Hey, don't get mad at me. Personally, I prefer toys anyway. It's better than risking my chances of meeting a fool who has no idea what he's doing and only leaves me with a lack of orgasms and a risk of having bumps on my cooter. And they're a good stress reliever." Billie shamelessly explained.

My eyes were wide in amused shock. I let out a laugh I didn't know I was holding in.

I did not need to know any of that.