𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐓𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 || 𝐌𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐄/𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐖𝐎𝐍

Chapter Twenty -Nine

"You look different," Taehyung said, looking at him from across the table.

Wonwoo shrugged and dug into his salad, refusing to be self-conscious about his pink silk shirt or his white skinny jeans. If anyone thought he looked flamboyant, it wasn't Wonwoo's problem. He was done feeling embarrassed about who he was. He felt good in these clothes. That was the important thing.

"Mate..." Taehyung said cautiously. "Is that man forcing you to dress like that?"

Wonwoo blinked. "What?"

Realizing Taehyung was actually serious, he started giggling. He knew Taehyung hadn't exactly been thrilled when Wonwoo had told him that he was seeing Mingyu, but Wonwoo hadn't realized the extent of it. It was the first time they were hanging out in nearly a month.

"Hey, it's not funny," Taehyung said. "I'm worried, you potato. First you start shagging the guy who had you kidnapped for months, now you're changing yourself for him."

"I'm not changing myself for him," Wonwoo said with a crooked smile. "This is who I am. This is who I've always been. The only thing he changed was...he helped me see there was nothing wrong with me. I no longer feel like I have to hide it."

Taehyung's pale brows drew together, his blue-green eyes filled with confusion. "But why didn't you say anything before? Did you think I would judge you?"

Wonwoo met his gaze. "I distinctly remember you telling me how much you disliked Fred's flamboyance and femininity."

Taehyung flushed. "I disliked Fred because he wasn't Jungkook, not because...I kept comparing him to Jungkook, so everything about him annoyed me-"

"I can't blame you for being attracted to hunks," Wonwoo said, chuckling. "That would be very hypocritical of me."

They shared an amused look before Taehyung turned serious. "I really don't care, you know that, right? I'm sorry if I gave you that impression." He smirked a little. "You can wear a skirt and I will still love you, Won."

Rolling his eyes, Wonwoo kicked him under the table. "I'm not into cross-dressing. I just like pretty things, and I've decided I'm not going to care if some narrow-minded people think it's strange or effeminate. Gender stereotypes are stupid, anyway. I'm happy the way I am."

"You do look happy."

Wonwoo smiled, thinking of the past few months. "Because I am happy."

Taehyung eyed him thoughtfully. "You're serious about him, aren't you?"

Wonwoo met his friend's eyes. "I've never been more serious."

"It's just kind of crazy," Taehyung said, sighing. "You realize that, right? He's a man who kidnapped you and forced himself onto you."

Wonwoo frowned. "I told you already: he never forced me to do anything I didn't want. Yes, Mingyu is very far from being a saint, but one thing he isn't is a rapist. So drop it, okay?"

Taehyung pressed his lips together. "I just can't see it working long-term. He's going to break your heart."

Wonwoo looked down at his hands. "Aren't all people in relationships in danger of that happening? If we live in constant fear of having our hearts broken, we'll never take the chance to be happy."

"Yeah, but that man is-"

"That man," Wonwoo cut him off, a slight edge appearing in his voice, "is the man who makes me happier than I've ever been. Please respect it. Please."

"Sorry," Taehyung said, wincing. "You do look very happy. I just don't want you to get hurt."

"I don't want me to get hurt, either," Wonwoo said calmly. "Look, I get where you're coming from, but I don't think you have a reason to worry. Mingyu-he..." Wonwoo trailed off, thinking of going to sleep in Mingyu's arms and waking up so tangled with him that it was hard to tell where Mingyu ended and he began. Wonwoo smiled softly. "He cares for me. I know he does."

Taehyung's expression remained skeptical. "Has he told you that? That he loves you?"

Wonwoo gave a short laugh. "I haven't exactly said the words, either. It's just-it doesn't matter-I mean, of course it matters, but-" He cut himself off, frustrated by his inability to put his thoughts into words. "He's not really the type to talk about feelings, and I don't think the words are all that important. I think what you feel around the person is more important than pretty words. And I feel..." Warmth spread from his chest to his face. "I feel fucking cherished when I'm with him. Like I'm something precious. And that means more to me than any sweet words."

"Oh," Taehyung said, his face finally softening. He smiled. "Fine, okay. If he makes you that happy, that's all that matters. But aren't you scared? Even a bit?"

Wonwoo smiled back. "I'm scared shitless. But not for the reasons you think. I'm scared of scaring him off. You know what I've always dreamed of."

A wrinkle appeared on Taehyung's forehead. "A nice guy to build a family with. You still want it?"

"I don't want a nice guy," Wonwoo said, snorting. "Mingyu kind of ruined all other men for me. I want only him." All the time. "But the thing is, I didn't stop wanting other things. I still want kids. I want a family of my own. But wanting them with him isn't just stupid-it's dangerous. He is who he is. I get super anxious every time I don't hear from him while he's away. Bringing kids into the picture would only make it worse even if Mingyu was willing to."

"Wait," Taehyung said, his eyes widening. "Kids? Don't you think it's a bit too fast? Even Jungkook and I haven't discussed kids and we've been inseparable since childhood!"

"Obviously I don't want kids now," Wonwoo said with a laugh. "To be honest, I don't think I'm anywhere near ready to share him with anyone. I want him all to myself." Wonwoo blushed. He'd never thought he was capable of being so possessive. It was kind of mortifying. "But you know me, Taetae. At some point in the future, I would love to have his babies." Even thinking of dark-haired, blue-eyed little boys and girls made him smile dreamily. Wonwoo sighed. "And I shouldn't want it. I'm just setting myself up for disappointment."

Taehyung looked thoughtful. "I think you should ask him. It's better to test the waters now, to see if he's open to the idea. This way, if he refuses point blank, at least you'll know for sure it's not a possibility. It'll suck, yeah, but honesty is always the best policy." Taehyung smiled without much humor. "Lying and hiding what you want for years is never a good idea, trust me."

"Don't you think it would be pushy? I don't want to be too pushy."

Taehyung snorted. "You're, like, the opposite of pushy, mate."

Wonwoo almost laughed. Taehyung just hadn't seen him with Mingyu. He hadn't seen how insatiable and needy Wonwoo was with him. Luckily for him, Mingyu seemed to like it, but surely there must be some boundaries? Talking about children so early in a relationship was probably one of them.

"I'll think about it," Wonwoo said, frowning. Taehyung's advice was sound, but he couldn't imagine Mingyu giving the positive answer.

"Hey, chin up," Taehyung said, knocking their knees together. "I don't want your Russian mobster to come after me because I upset his boy."

Wonwoo chuckled. "Don't be ridiculous," he said, blushing a little. He knew Mingyu would care if he saw him upset, and that knowledge warmed him to the tips of his toes.

Maybe Mingyu would say no, but maybe it didn't matter.

This was enough for him. More than enough.