Free Delivery

Validation

The next morning left Merlin in tatters as he woke up. The pillows were so soft that he felt like he was floating, or drowning, or both. Groaning, Merlin turned on his side, only to be faced with a snoring Arthur.

Arthur looked stupid. His hair was a mess, his mouth was half open in an asymmetrical 'oh' shape, while his limbs seemed to have forgotten what angles were. The sight made Merlin snort. He had half expected himself to freak out over their shared bed situation. But Merlin had platonically shared a bed or couch with almost all of his friends before. And this one was big enough for at least four adult men.

And then his smile fell a little. Even in this position, snoring and drooling in his sleep, Arthur was still Arthur. A man who had come along on Merlin's request and behaved like the perfect boyfriend. Not perfect as in being perfect all around as a person, but he cared genuinely, he roasted Valiant with enthusiasm for Merlin's sake and didn't look like he disliked Merlin's company altogether.

Merlin was suddenly reminded of his first boyfriend, a guy whom Merlin had had an immense crush on and whom he had let dictate their entire relationship. Merlin had been so happy that the man had liked him back that he invested everything he had in them. From the moment they first kissed to their first night together, Merlin had been giving his all for them to work out, and Kayne... Kayne had spent half the time on the phone. He had never listened to Merlin as they hung out and had made out with half a dozen random people when he was drunk. Merlin refused to call it cheating in his head, as he had eventually discussed it with Kayne and given him permission to explore for a while. Merlin had been patient, had waited for the man and had rearranged his entire life around him. And one morning, Merlin had received a text that explained nothing. That had been the end of it.

Merlin's second relationship had been with a nonbinary person. That one had arguably been better than his first relationship, but Merlin had gone into it with hesitance. They had been patient with Merlin and Merlin had eventually begun to feel comfortable around them. Eventually, Merlin had begun his studies for medicine and they had focused on architecture. Their friend circles had been quite different and they had slowly drifted apart.

Merlin's third partner had been a closet case and those were always messy. When Merlin had met Freya soon after, he had believed to have found his soulmate and broke off with Ned. They remained in contact but Ned had then been moving from town to town as his family had disowned him after coming out. For him, it had been parties and drugs from then on out. And that was actually how Merlin had met Gwaine. Ned had asked Merlin for a favour during one of the uni parties and take his friend in, and that's how they met.

At that point, Merlin had been dating Freya. Then, Freya's mother had turned sick and she had returned back home. She had told Merlin that she didn't have the mind for a relationship at that point and that looking at a surgeon in the making, while her mother was dying from cancer would only wear her down. The break up had worn Merlin down for a long time, but he'd also been busy with taking care of Gwaine and that put his mind off of things. Then, eventually the police case was opened and he had no longer had a mind for relationships.

Merlin had never dated someone whom he had been friends with first. None of his relationships had shared his humour or had argued with him the way that Arthur did. They had all been more quiet, not comfortable with speaking out to authorities, and had kept telling Merlin not to be rude in front of them. In a weird sense, Merlin felt that with Arthur by his side, on this stupid mission, he didn't feel pressured or anxious about what he said or any mistakes he could be making. In this one day Arthur had shown more care for him and demanded less control over his behavior than any of his previous relationships ever had together. If it was so easy to play that part, why had none of them done it? Even if only for a day?