"And if by chance, it doesn't work out with her You'll always have a chance with me in my world."
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You watched as the person you planned you life with laughed and danced with the daughter he was supposed to have with you. You and Ja had a past, one that was evident the moment you were around each other. You'd love him forever, and even Ray Charles and Stevie Wonders could see that. Your heart was his, forever and always. Even if that love wasn't reciprocated.
See it was in your eyes. Every time you see him you light up, forgetting all the times he lied and hurt you. All the times he left you crying over him. All the times he made you insecure because he'd leave after you had sex with him. Some would say you're delusional, but if the loved like you loved, they would understand.
You and Ja haven't been in the same place in 4 years, and that was because of Niya's birthday. When Ja went to college, his whole family moved with him. And that broke you, because losing Ja was one thing but losing the people that showed you love your whole life, that was another.
And even in your sadness you never gave up on him. You still followed him, and cheered him on. You cried watching the draft, knowing that he deserved everything he was receiving. And they had sat and talked about that moment since they were little. She even put up a instagram coundown for it when they were juniors captioned, "from diapers to draft day".
Ja adored how much you supported him then. His dad was on him hard about not receiving scholarships or any real recognition. For a moment, he felt like you were the only one supporting him. You held him like a baby when he got overwhelmed, because he suffered from a bi polar disorder. No one knew that except for you and his family, and he appreciated the fact that you didn't tell his business, even after all he put you through. And that was hell.
But Ja loved you, truly. He just didn't know what he wanted. His favorite song was Where I Wanna Be by Donell Jones, because he felt every lyric, and the remix by Tone Smith that expressed how he felt when he realized how much he truly lost when he chose the fast life over her. But he had gotten a scholarship, and then recognition and then fame. He wanted to have fun, and now the fun is over. Sex and money mean nothing.
Ja met KK in college and slipped up, getting her pregnant. Ja cried so hard when he found out she was pregnant with his child and all he could do is think about you. Wondering if you would hold him the way you used to. But he stepped up and forced a relationship he didn't want with KK for the sake of his daughter, who reminded him so much of you. Because she loved hard and always wanted to see him shine no matter what. He was proud of his daughter and he always told himself that if he got the chance to see you again, to apologize, he would. He would get on his knees and beg for you back, even though he didn't deserve you. And if you said no, he'd understand and settle to be your friend.
